Love & War in the Courtroom

broken justice

 

Jesus, I’m 30 now.

I’ve done a ton of bad things in my life. Mostly just for the sake of being rebellious, but according to society and the law bad things none the less. Seeing as how I’m going to be in court again soon enough, I’m not going to make anyone’s job easier by listing those things publicly in my own online journal.

Let’s just say that I wasn’t the best friend, best boyfriend, best son or best anything for that matter.

Throughout all the trials I’ve been through in this relatively short lifespan, there are only a few absolute truths that I can readily agree to if questioned. I have never intentionally hurt my friends and family members, whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally or any other kinda way. I have never sexually harassed anyone, man or woman.

Well I guess that depends on your definition of the term.

I have never raped anyone, or even thought it was funny or cool or something that might be feasible in the future. I have never condoned child molestation, statutory rape or child pornography, even if some of the people I have met in the past have pushed those boundaries to the limit. There are probably several other things I can’t think of at this very moment but I’ll skip the rest of the history lesson to get to the thing that I am probably most proud of:

I have never, ever ever, ever EVER in my life called the police on anyone I love or care about. In fact I haven’t even called the police or even tried to get in trouble anyone up to and including my worst enemies. Regardless of the situation. It just pains me to think of taking someone else’s dignity and freedom by dialing 9-1-1 at a moment’s notice, in the middle of a stressful situation when I lost my temper or something along those lines. Even given time, I have eventually come to the conclusion that very few people actually deserve to be sent to jail or sent to prison.

You do not deserve to do jail time for doing drugs.

I don’t care if you are smoking a joint with your buddies in the mall parking lot or sniffing some powdered cocaine at a house party, it’s a waste of taxpayer money, a waste of time, and ridiculous to put even the most idiotic junkie in the world in prison. There are tons of drugs floating around every single prison in the US, if not in the world, so if they want to get high badly enough they’re going to get high even while locked up. Why should the rest of the population pay for Crackhead Larry to get a GED, 3 square meals and a college education? Not to mention how the prison system turns relatively normal people into hardened criminals. If they didn’t already know how to get away with burglary and drug trafficking, I promise you they will after 2 years in the slammer.

People should not have to be in imminent danger from a guy holding a pistol to the back of their head before they are allowed to kill them or drive them off their property. If your fearful for your life because a stalker keeps harassing you or because they have just told you in person they are going to chop you up into meat buns and serve you at a restaurant, you should be able to defend yourself with deadly force if necessary.

Of course not everything has access to a gun, especially not in Paranoia, USA. It clearly states that every American citizen has the right to bear arms, I don’t think I can say it much better then that. Are there any exceptions to the rule? Absolutely, the mentally insane and those with ties to foreign terror groups should be kept away from owning dangerous tools, whether that’s a katana or a machine gun. Going back to the deadly force argument, how are you supposed to defend yourself against a guy whose twice your size, ready to hold you down against your will with one hand while putting his dick in your ass without some sort of equalizer?  Or if your a guy, how are you going to defend yourself against psychotic exes and the mugger from the public housing unit down the street with just your wits and luck?

I’m just saying.

I guess the reason I’m even thinking about this is because of my upcoming court date. I’ve talked about it several times in the past but again I can’t bore you with all the details until everything has been settled between me and my ex-fiancee. What I can tell you is that I am being accused of crimes and violations that I did not commit based on unreliable testimony without evidence from someone who can benefit from lying.

Nothing is worse then sending someone you love or care about to jail. Even if there was truth behind something as little as grabbing someone by the wrist or standing in front of their car, it still wouldn’t be right to have them arrested. It makes it that much worse when you lie to the police, who are just out there trying to be captain save-a-hoe and cannot see beyond the headline, “officer saves woman from vile attacker.”

Even if it’s complete bullshit.

I can quite literally think of dozens of other ways to get even with your ex, including blowing up their pets, getting them fired from their job, posting naked pictures of them on the internet, etc. you get the idea. I would in reality rather get stabbed or shot by her rather then have to end up facing her from opposite sides of the court room.

I wonder how many other people out there feel the same way.

When the justice system was first created way back when by our founding forefathers, or even by the British, I’m pretty sure they didn’t have in mind what we have in place today. The purpose of the law, the lawyers, judges, police and prisons that are used today, is to take revenge and damnation out of the hands of the uneducated and unreasonably violent, to back up accusations with evidence and by convincing a jury of your peeps beyond a shadow of a doubt that you and only you could have committed the crime.

You might have stumbled across this little post on Google or some other search engine and be slightly confused with what your reading (or maybe you clicked the link on my facebook/twitter page), but just imagine how many people would have it better if this current system didn’t exist.

That obscenely wealthy defendant on TV that you’ve seen or heard talked about at the office, he’s probably completely fine with things as they stand. He can afford to get off on charges of sexual assault, rape, assault, and kidnapping when he drugged and drove a woman home to his mansion. I’m sure he has little to worry about but his reputation, and certainly won’t do more than a few days behind bars while awaiting his bail to be set.

What about the woman who was raped and is now getting threatening phone calls from a prepaid cell phone about how someone is going to slash open her labia if she testifies in court? Wouldn’t it be easier for her, especially if she knows the name and face of her attacker, to just go out and buy a gun and handle it herself? The law says that’s wrong, and  would happily put her in prison for retaliating against her attacker.

How about the colored (as in Black, Asian, Latino, Eskimo, etc.) defendant from the projects who just happens to look like every other member of their race to the white officer making the arrest. If you think they are even trying to be fair 50% of the time, you are sadly mistaken. Even without evidence, if there is nothing to corroborate the officer’s testimony, if it’s just your word against theirs, your almost certainly going to be found guilty by the judge 9 times out of 10.

None of these people other than the extremely rich benefit much from the current justice system. Add in language barriers, red tape and trouble understanding the phrasing of legal terms and there is next to no chance you can defend yourself, something that happens to often without the resources to fund adequate legal representation.

Oh, there is at least one more group of people that are being currently martyred in the war against sexual assault and domestic violence against women. That would be the men who have been thrown out of their houses or arrested at work based completely on a legal system of protective/restraining/peace orders in which there is no basis of forensic evidence, no burden of proof necessary to incarcerate innocent (ok, maybe not innocent but not guilty in this case) men just trying and failing to keep their girlfriends/fiancees/wives happy.

If I knew how this would play out from the very beginning, if I knew I would end up having to sit on opposing sides of a court room from a woman I loved and cared about and had to listen to her perjure herself in an attempt to take away my life and freedom, I would probably never have gotten into a relationship with her.

She knew that I wasn’t perfect when I first met her (other than my looks and charming smile), and knew that i have skeletons in my closet so I can’t understand how she can suddenly hate me so much that she would do something so vulgar and completely incomprehensible, at least to my way of thinking.

I don’t often regret my actions, but rather than deal with this issue, if given the chance to do it over, I probably would look for another solution such as NOT dating her in the first place.Since that isn’t possible in the real world, I can’t begin to tell you how sick I feel that instead of seeing my friend support me from the bleacher seats in the back, now I’m going to have to look at her eyes filled with hatred sitting next to my enemy, the prosecutor.

Relationships will never be calm and tranquil, based on reason and logic. There will always be at least a part of it that calls for irrational emotions, passion and darker emotions like jealously, rage and hatred. It’s up to us to figure out how to deal with situations better, how to talk things out and at least attempt to understand each other without having to resort to slander and using the law for personal gain.

That’s what I think, at least for the moment.

 

Michael,

Wong_83@Hotmail.com

 

Basketball, Drinks, Love & Hate – Mikey’s Life: June 18th, 2013

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything since my life just hasn’t felt normal in quite a while. I’m still working at the Red Parrot, I’m still watching the Heat in the NBA Finals, I’m still taking care of Maximus Reed Wong, but other then that it seems like my life hasn’t quite moved much lately. 

Almost as if time isn’t passing as it quickly as it should be. 

Let me start off with those subjects I just talked about in further detail before we continue. 

Starting with the dog first, for those of you who are new to my blog, Maximus Reed, aka. Max, Stinky Max, The Rat, is my nearly 1 year old Rat Terrier. He’s the only dog I’ve ever seen that has a bunny tail that wags so hard that his butt wiggles back and forth when he’s excited about something. He’s happy for the most part but just like me seems to be saddened by something missing in his life. He’s gotten a lot bigger in the past several months, most likely because mom and dad have been feeding him rotisserie chicken and cheese (at just the right temperature and shredded to just the right size btw) all the time. We all try to run with him at least once a day, and i’m trying to get my mile time down to under 7. 

A man has dreams to you know? As long as I’m smoking cigarettes (yes I went back to smoking menthol cigarettes) I doubt I’m going to get it down to under 7 without really pushing myself. I really don’t want to put in to much strenuous cardio at the moment since it’s so hot and humid outside. Luckily Max doesn’t really have sweat glands so he doesn’t stink regardless of how long he runs around.

We both enjoy the time together alone.

It gives me time to think, time to remember pain, time to compose myself so that I can spend another day numbing myself and sealing my memories in a compartment. The rest of the time I choose to force myself to appear happy and unaffected, but it’s really hard when everyone around you spent every moment creating physical reminders for every single memory. Max has even had some bad dreams lately where he seems to be crying out or barking at something in his sleep. It’s fairly disturbing to see a dog running on his side while asleep, especially when his claws are up against your back. If only there was something I could do for him. I’ve tried telling him in the past that he wasn’t abandoned, that he was only a casualty of a war between his parents, an innocent bystander hit by shrapnel.

I’m not sure he understands.

As for Miami, they are currently losing to the San Antonio Spurs 3-2, and tonight is game 6, the first of two finals games at home in Miami. I’m not really worried about them tonight since they almost never lose two post season games in a row, That would set up game 7 with the championship on the line, and this is where my nerves start getting to me.

So what’s the problem Miami? 

It’s not like you don’t have the offensive firepower or the current and 4-time MVP on your team, Lebron James. There are good shooters all over the team that can hit 3-pointers (Ray Allen, Mike Miller, LBJ, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, etc.), as well as multiple big time players that can penetrate to the basket or make the mid-range jump shot as well (Chris Anderson, Norris Cole, Mario Chalmers, Allen, LBJ, Wade, Bosh, etc.). So why do you look so confused when it comes times to make decisions in your half court offense, especially when your coming off a win? Did you somehow think San Antonio, with most of the star players having been a part of at least 3 of the past 4 championships, was going to just beat themselves with mistakes and give you a freebie? The saddest thing is that even with Wade’s knee injury, this team is supposed to be dominant enough to handle any championship-level team.

Instead they find themselves on the brink of elimination against a much less dangerous Spurs team, one without Tim Duncan playing at an MVP level, where Giniobli was averaging 7.5 points per game up until game 5, and Tony Parker their star point guard has been hampered by a hamstring injury. Imagine if this was the 2003 or 2005 Spurs team that swept Lebron’s Cavaliers or the younger team that massacred the Nets 4 games to 1.

If this Heat team can’t step up their game, focus and concentration for 2 games in a row, at home no less, what makes you think they could beat them when they were at their best? LeBron’s legacy is on the line tonight and on Thursday. Wade has 2 championships and a Finals MVP already next to his name. Bosh isn’t really expected to carry this team to victory. (not to mention he hasn’t had a 30 point game this entire postseason).If he wins, he’s 2 and 2 in championships and can finally exorcise the demons surrounding his postseason play versus San Antonio. If he loses he’s 1-3 all-time and his reputation will take a huge blow. This team was the favorite to the win the championship at the start of the playoffs, he will possibly never have a better chance to win another one than with this team built to win championships. 

All we can do is watch and pray.

So what else is new? 

Not much has happened at the restaurant other then building up our Arlington location, oh and we’ve started our regular/VIP customer program with GetPerka.com. I’ve come up with several new drinks over the past couple weeks, such as a Passion fruit Basil Mojito, a Sweet & Sour frozen Mango Margarita, and several Fruit-infused cold Sakes. Other then that I’ve just been putting in the hours, counting the time until I can get off and go home so I can drown myself in reading materials or watching countless animes/reading mangas. 

My grandmother is back in the hospital again, on my father’s side of the family. They live all the way across the country in Los Angeles, so for us to take an emergency trip would be super expensive at the last moment. We talked to dad’s siblings and other family members that live over there and thought maybe she would be better or at least up to waiting several more days before my entire immediate family takes a flight (and time off) across the US. It doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen now, she’s really weak and hasn’t been eating very much. As long as she continues down that path, she has only a very small possibility of ever fully recovering, so I think it’s time we made that trip. Wonderful, what else does God have in store for me?

I finally realize something that I had locked away for a long time prior to being in my past relationship. I know now why I had stopped caring, why I had treated my ex’s and girls in general like useless garbage, cheating on them and barely acknowledging their or my own feelings. It’s so much easier to stay out of the fray, to look down on people with a cool sense of superiority than to let them into your life. That way no one can hurt you. 

Nobody can tell you they love you, and that they are the only one meant for you and turn around and hurt you worse then anyone before. Nobody can look you right in the eyes and tell you they miss and care about you while secretly calling the police on you and hoping you would die or go to jail. If you can treat your dog this way, what else are you capable of? If your so worried about taking pictures of everything and loading them up on your social media sites, how can you turn off everything and not even wonder what has happened to them?

I’ve went out with several girls over the past month or so and tried to forget the past but it seems that everywhere I go there’s another picture frame hidden behind a desk, on the top of a banister or tucked in a box of forgotten memories. Whenever I focus on what I’m feeling  at the moment, I realize that I currently feel nothing but regret and pain. Wouldn’t it have been better if I had never come to this realization at all?

I think I would rather have been stabbed or shot like some of my other ex’s have done to me then for this particular outcome to happen.It’s as if all the colors of spring and summer have been bleached from my surroundings. White looks like Grey, Yellow looks like dull Orange, and black looks even darker. My hands waved in front of my face move in slow-motion and without any enthusiasm, almost as if I was walking in a nightmare but can’t wake myself up. I want to say something or do something that will restore me to full health, but I cannot even face my demons without the threat of police intervention. 

Have I ever told you how much I hate the police in my county? They are some of the most corrupt officials I’ve ever met. 

I haven’t even picked up a piece of jewelry or read a book about jewelry since I was forcefully removed from my own home. I’m not even going to go into the reasons why, suffice it to say that lies were spoken and trust was betrayed for this to occur.

I’m sure I will eventually move on and find some sort of minor happiness in my life, but I doubt I’ll ever be the same. It pains me to smile. I will never fully trust anyone ever again until I have dealt with these demons of my past, I might never even love anyone outside of my family. If this type of person could be corrupted by whatever reasons into actually hurting me intentionally, what hope is there for any normal women to be what they say they are.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of faults. I’ve lied (rarely), and been lazy, haven’t taken responsibility or been there when I was supposed too, taken care of everything a man should take care of, and yelled and made a big deal out of things when I should have been there to listen. I’ve hurt people and not been aware of their feelings before, especially those who I claimed to love. But there are certain principles and guidelines that can never be stepped across. Once you’ve done certain things, they cannot be taken back. Words are just words until the police get involved, or until someone snaps and gets physically damaged, and we’re not talking about restraining someone. We’re talking about killing someone with your bare hands, or accidentally shooting them with a gun or stabbing them with a knife. You claim that you’ve been hurt, but how much worse were your failed marriages? 

So which one is it, both cannot be true. Either she lied about her past, and made me spend much of the relationship attempting to repair things she overstated/overreacted to OR it’s true and yet somehow it’s conveniently forgotten all the times I spent planning out dates, buying cards/flowers, cooking her dinner, visiting and being humble and polite to her family, or just flat out spending my waking moments with her. 

What about love? You were barren prior to my touch. It’s just that simple. Nobody loved you or your insecurities, nobody kissed the cut on your lip or the scars on your womb. Nobody appreciated you trying to cook them burnt eggs and spam, or took you out on Valentine’s day. 

“I’ll never forget all the things you’ve done for me. I appreciate everything. I’ll show you I do.”

So where is your memory?

I never thought I’d be so gullible. Me? I was untouchable, infallible, I always had an ace up my sleeve (someone I slept with that I could use as ammo when the inevitable break-up occured). 

Maybe it’s better if I just live in fantasy land, reading and watching anime and living vicariously through the stories of others. Maybe with time I will fade away until I become nothing more than a ghost, feeding off the emotions and memories of others and gaining strength from negative emotions like jealously and hate. 

I’ve done it once, so why can’t it happen again.

 

~Mikey

Wong_83@Hotmail.com

Me, Myself and Why? Please Understand.

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Have you ever done something that made you feel so guilty your sick to your stomach? Because I have, and it’s not the kind of thing that you can make right by telling your parents. I’ve basically ruined a perfectly good relationship by forgetting what was important to me. 

I know I’ve done this dozens of times in the past, and it should be nothing new to me. I should be well aware of my shortcomings by now and realize that eventually I’m going to self destruct. Whether it’s by cheating, or getting trashed and not coming home, arguing, fighting, being selfish or forgetting important anniversaries,

I just seem to figure out a way to turn anyone and everyone who cares about me against me.

If I could turn back the clock and do things over again, I’m usually a big proponent of letting things run their due course. I really try not do anything I really would regret, because that would mean that I’m acknowledging failure. When this happens, something deep down inside gets dragged to the surface over and over again, stuff that I thought I had destroyed, aka: buried under millions of tons of trash in New York City landfill.

But this time is different. Try as I might to ignore everything I’m feeling, a drop has already hit the surface of the water and it’s too late to stop the ripples. Whatever carefully maintained illusion I was under, there is nothing in the world that hurts like a broken heart, not when you know that intrinsically, it’s nobody’s fault but your own.

I could list the mistakes I have made, just over the course of this one relationship, for the next 48 hours and I still could probably think of something to add. I refused to act as an equal partner in paying the bills and expected her to make sure everything turned out alright. I yelled and cussed, treated arguments like warfare, cared more about being right than making her happy and snarled like a wounded animal when treated ‘unfairly.’ I kissed another girl, at the very minimum, took my other friends sides, refused to quit talking to women who were just trying to destroy my happiness and my relationship.

I guess the thing I really wish I could rewind is snapping and cussing at our, her daughter. I know that really hit home, because she is always going to be first priority, regardless of how much she loves me. If I ask myself honestly what caused that pitiful fit, I can only shamefully say that I thought she needed a strong male role-model. 

Since I have never seen or been around one, all I can do is imitate what I think that looks like, even if it feels wrong and is wrong.

If only she could see how I really feel.

She’s not perfect, but she’s perfect in my eyes. She makes mistakes but so does everyone else.   They say hindsight is 20/20, and yes she may be sometimes overly emotional, jealous with self-esteem issues, but she has every right to be.

Every man who has ever been with her has given her reason to doubt herself, including myself.

There are so many things I miss about her that I don’t even know where to begin. Her smell? That smell of fresh laundry (since she always does the laundry) mixed with just a hint of her body, just enough to make my blood stir. Her smile? Her goofy, nerdy, big cat smile that every-so-often would come out just right in pictures. Her laugh would fall in somewhere with that, infectious and able to light up even the worst situations.

I don’t want to get wrapped up in cheese ball poetic feelings, mingled with guilt and a helping of regret. It’s just so hard not to explain when everything is jumbled together with little strings poking out. Just like on your sweater, if you pick at one of the strings you’ll eventually pull it out, but not before two more have surfaced.

Two more that you thought were not interconnected.

I still remember some of the conversations we had, some recently and others way back in the past, where we laughed about how eventually we would grow old. I asked if she’d still like me if I was ugly and fat and old and bald, and she looked at me confused, like what I said had made no sense.

Of course I would still like you. I would still love you.

I think I would still love her too, even if she had liver spots, and one droopy eye, her hair thinned with age and wrinkles hanging off her elbows. It’s amusing to even think about things like that, now that I know that she’s gone. There’s a sense of finality when you look at a closet full of empty hangers, hangers where once she had put all the pretty clothes you bought with her, stuff she had only worn because she wanted to make you happy.

She would have been happy with or without the clothes. She was perfectly content wearing her Kung Fu slippers, a baggy over-sized hoodie, no make up, and no jewelry. 

Maybe her life is better without you. That’s something that will take time to figure out. Maybe it would have been better if you were never involved, never able to hurt her, and never able to touch her heart. Sometimes I wrestle with the idea that the world would be a better place without me, since it seems everything I touch crumbles and turns to ash.

Just like the end of one of your cigarettes.

So what does she want you to do? Maybe work a few more hours, not hide away from the world when you get stressed. Maybe comfort her when she’s stressed, or when she remembers the mistakes you made that involve another girl. Even just not yelling at her when she brings it up, that would be an improvement on what happened in the past. It’s on you if you want to regain her trust, not her.

She can’t help seeing what could or might or did happen when you put it so blatantly in her face.

And above all else, maybe not placing your burdens on her, especially by saying things like this is your fault, or there’s nothing I can do when there’s certainly a million things you can do to make things right. If only she was worth it… which of course she is. Your just too stupid to see any rhyme or reason until things are already out of hand.

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Now if only she could see that you understand.

~M

The Actual and Relative Values of a Diamond

Have you ever bought a diamond? If your over the age of 21, chances are you have bought one or know someone who has bought one. I distinctly remember the first time I purchased a diamond ring. As a young lad, jittery with nervous energy, I tried to pay off some nefarious deed done to one of my earliest girlfriends with a piece of shiny jewelry… purchased from the local mall. The first time you enter one of those fancy stores like Jared or Kay, the first thing you realize but won’t quite accept is that you are hopelessly outmatched. You browse the display cases like you know exactly what your looking for but in reality you most likely end up buying something that’s both affordable and should look OK on her hand/neck/etc. So what’s the true value and whats just the relative value of the glittering bauble you are thinking about getting? I’ve done the research. Over the past few months I have looked through a mind-boggling amount of data on these otherwise worthless amounts of concentrated Carbon. Like everyone else, the reasons are pretty obvious: I am searching for that “perfect” ring for my beautiful fiancee. I know, pretty stupid considering the opening statements of this article. The problem with logically reasoning is exactly it’s definition. It’s logical. The logical part of my brain that knows this is completely unrelated to the part that thinks it’s perfectly normal to spend thousands of dollars on what amounts to a rock set in a piece of metal. That would be the subconscious. So let’s take a look at the facts. Originally, diamonds and the other precious and semi-precious jewels were used to decorate works of art, garments and even weaponry. They refract light and are pleasing to the eye, they’re relatively rare when compared to other materials and most importantly they are hard. This may not seem that important now that we have plastic and metal that wont deteriorate or corrode for hundreds of years. Things to cherish and that could be pass on to loved ones, pleasing even when first dug from the earth. As we advanced, so did cutting and polishing techniques. What better way to symbolize royal status and religion than materials that last forever? When regular people couldn’t even afford to feed and clothe themselves on a regular basis, what better to separate classes than jeweled swords and gold thread.

So let’s get on to the point. In MY opinion, what is real and what is fake?

In my humble opinion, a diamond is relatively worthless. It has absolutely NO nutrients, and if people weren’t so damn worried about status and being brighter than their peers, it would probably not be worth the time and labor that goes into cutting and shining the things to begin with. It certainly wouldn’t be worth thousands of dollars per karat. Not to me. If anything, you could probably relate it’s value to that of a pretty painting. When done right, it’s beautiful, there’s no denying that. The way light seems to come from within the stones- cut into squares, round brilliants, sometimes flashing hearts and arrows-could definitely be considered a work of art. So in some ways, each individual stone is like a sculpture or a carving.. except this carving will last hopefully forever.

What about all that hokum about how a “diamond is forever?” Or how a diamond is a symbol of love? Even though I know this isn’t true, as said before, it’s kinda stuck in my brain. I can always pretend that I’m primarily interested in diamonds and gold in terms of it’s raw materials and commodities, but why then did I look through all those websites trying to find the “perfect” ring? Something that’s sculpted just right, not to thin and not to thick, has plenty of craftsmanship included and of course is made of excellent raw materials. The idea of buying an imperfect diamond, meaning something of lower than vs2 quality, disgusts me both consciously and subconsciously. What’s the point in buying a painting with a big tear down the middle or has a long scratch off a corner? Exactly, you wouldn’t. Unless that painting was worth $500,000 and they were selling it to you cheap… but you get my point.What could possibly be an excuse for buying lower-grade diamonds, especially below SI1 in clarity or above G in color?

If your girlfriend/fiancee is that desperate for a rock on her finger, she probably either isn’t that bright or just hasn’t done the research on diamonds. If she had, she would have realized by now that the a 0.50k diamond with great symmetry, ideal height and width, vs2 clarity and falls somewhere in the near colorless range is going to be worth near or even more than one twice it’s size with one or more of these values severely flawed. As long as the one your buying doesn’t have any significant flaws/imperfections and has plenty of luster and internal fire, don’t worry about buying the largest one you can find. Just like you would never spend more money based solely on the size of any other object of art, treat this purchase with the same respect and research you would buying an expensive antique. That would be my best guess as to the true value of a diamond.

One more thing, one that a staggering number of people going out for their first major diamond purchase have never done. Even though it’s probably out of your price range, grow a backbone and ask the sales representative to show you the clearest and most dazzling diamond they have to offer. Looking at a diamond in person is completely different from researching them online or even looking at high definition pictures. There’s something about the lighting and the ability to see the stone in 3 dimensions that you can’t see in any other format. The reason you should look at a diamond much better than the ones you might likely purchase is for comparison down the road. Keep that picture of what a diamond should look like in the back of your mind when your examining other stones in your price range for similarities and more importantly, for things they might be lacking. Keep in mind that without this eyes-on comparison, even an obviously flawed and tinted diamond will still outshine just about anything  material and will almost magnetically draw you to buy it.

That’s one of the major reasons why jewelry makers sold 8 billion dollars worth of diamond jewelry last year; 8 times what they sold of every other gem combined. I’ve spent a considerable amount of time over the years just wandering into random little jewelry shops, you know the ones that are all around vacationing spots like Ocean City, MD or Atlantic City, NJ. I’m always stunned to the point of silence as I examine most of their wares, some are so bad that they don’t even tell you the carat weight or clarity of the diamonds. Just this past weekend me and my fiancee walked into a shop where they were selling an engagement ring with a single center stone. The point of the solitaire engagement ring is to put all the focus on that one diamond set in the middle. This .52k round brilliant was so riddled with flaws and so colored that it was nearly black; It would have been laughable if the sticker price for it wasn’t nearly $4000! The sales clerk even offered to give me a “Labor Day Discount”: $3500. Wow, thanks a lot. The saddest thing is that some poor schmuck down the road will probably shell out the dough, just to appease their pretty new girlfriend.

With all of this information, hopefully anyone reading this blog will at least learn these few things. 1. Don’t instantly believe the sales representative: their profit margin is only as high as your stupidity will allow them. 2. Don’t rush into a purchase as important as diamond jewelry:  it would be an understatement to say this shouldn’t be an impulse buy.  3. Most jewelers will match prices on loose stones. 4. Don’t be lured by a high carat weight on an engagement ring. If it isn’t a single stone or at the very least only a couple stones, more than likely the stones are nearly worthless and therefore the piece of jewelry is too. 5. Taking all these rules into account, take the time to research the material. If you can’t take this relatively small amount of time to get even the jewelry right, how would you ever find the time to make your relationship work?

 

Michael, Wong_83@hotmail.com