RIP The Late, Great Billy Mays…and Others!

11:47AM: Can’t believe Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon and BILLY MAYS all died so suddenly! What is going on, is something in the water or what?! I mean this is just ridiculous. I know it could just be coincidence…but I don’t really believe in coincidences.

Anyways, Billy Mays especially was my favorite out of all of the celebrities mentioned above, with the only possible exception being the younger, black edition of Michael Jackson.

Q: How do you know it’s bedtime at Neverland Ranch?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand…

A little too early?

Probably. It’s just that I know that MJ was totally fantastic and his music to this day still touches me(non-sexually). It’s just that I am in such disbelief that he went above and beyond to destroy his looks, his reputation and his eternal soul. Regardless, he will be missed.

As for the legendary pitchman Billy Mays and his TV-series on the Discovery Channel, “Pitchmen,” I can not express the true feelings of disappointment and sadness brought about due to the sudden ending of his life and career. His rugged beard will be missed, as will his constant use of shouting all the time. *sniff*

Pitchmen is a very good and interesting show for very good reasons. If you get the Discovery Channel and have the chance to watch an episode or two, I suggest you take a peek. Its basically a show about the life of Billy Mays, his family and his partner/friend/fellow pitchman Sully.

OK, to be totally honest in my opinion of the show, I have to say this. Most of the products they see from private inventors, like 95% of them, are completely bogus and utter trash. People seem to want to spend tens of thousands of dollars or more on the worst most half-assed ideas I have ever seen in my life! I don’t even know how that’s possible. I couldn’t spend 10,000 dollars on an invention if my life depended on it. I mean, don’t you think you should really put some thought and planning behind an idea before you decide to go and dump your family’s entire life savings on it?

Evidently not for these people.

As for the few really good ideas I saw, Billy and Sully actually are very good at figuring out what items have selling potential and in what they should do to maximize the advertisement potential. I think they are so good at their jobs becaise they know how to relate to the common man, just looking for a solution to life’s little problems.

Just to name a few of the coolest things I saw over the course of a Pitchmen marathon, there was this crazy-looking circular saw, safe enough for home-use while still having the cutting power to chop a mid-sized sedan in half!!!

The secret to his design was using two circular saw blades instead of one, which spin in opposite directions. This means that even though the saw-teeth are smaller then ones in a traditional circular saw blade, as long as they spin exactly at the same speed they are infinitely safer and are still bad-ass.

Who doesn’t want one of those? The saw was so good that within the first week of the TV-ad coming out, the inventor had already made over 250,000 dollars! With an entire year of advertising, this dude was well on his way to making millions of dollars, settling all the debt he had accrued over years of dumping his savings into this project and most importantly, taking care of his parents. ❤

I think that’s what most people really want, even beyond juat making money. Personally, I know thats what I wold do if I ever made, patented and sold one of my own wacky ideas. It’s gotta be genetic or inherent in our morale code for most people to want to look out for their parents. Unless your a murderer and hacked up your parents for hamburgers…

Back to the subject of Pitchmen and Billy Mays, besides all the normal and good inventions, it was also good to see that Billy really cared about some of the “inventors” he worked with. In one episode, Billy worked with this young man who was working on patenting a vacuum-powered cleaner. This cleaner was kinda like Oxyclean in that you put a liquid on stains and smells but is slightly different in that there’s this hand-pump that you use to suck the liquid back out after it’s finished cleaning the material.

When Billy met up with the young man, he decided that instead of just pitching the product himself, he would help him to become a pitchman while setting up appointments for him at some conventions and on television. Finally at the end of the episode, after seeing the guy progress and show a great deal of potential, Billy personally gave him a private check for 5000 dolllars. This was very different then the way he usually deals with potential clients and shows how great Billy Mays really is.

In summary, Billy Mays may have been rich and enjoyed the luxuries of having a successful career but in no way acted like most people in his tax-bracket. He was a strong-willed, loud, sometimes annoying but always kind-hearted man who still remains a hero to the common people of the US…and perhaps the world. He used his success to help other people manufacture, pitch and sell their ideas/inventions, hopefully making their lives better in the long run.

Most people don’t know how hard it really is for inventions and ideas to get recognized, let alone make any money off even the best products available on the market. It takes true brand-recognition, a trustworthy face, a good sales campaign, years of planning, and most of all a great deal of luck to earn even a single dollar off a pair of mopping slippers. Or a circular saw. Or a vertical grill.

Thanks Billy, for everything you’ve done, and for everyone you inspired to go into sales, marketing or inventing. I will forever remember your Quick Chop, OxyClean, Mighty Putty and Shammy commercials. Hopefully wherever you end up, there will be idiots like myself for you to sell crappy products too. 😀