Basketball, Drinks, Love & Hate – Mikey’s Life: June 18th, 2013

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything since my life just hasn’t felt normal in quite a while. I’m still working at the Red Parrot, I’m still watching the Heat in the NBA Finals, I’m still taking care of Maximus Reed Wong, but other then that it seems like my life hasn’t quite moved much lately. 

Almost as if time isn’t passing as it quickly as it should be. 

Let me start off with those subjects I just talked about in further detail before we continue. 

Starting with the dog first, for those of you who are new to my blog, Maximus Reed, aka. Max, Stinky Max, The Rat, is my nearly 1 year old Rat Terrier. He’s the only dog I’ve ever seen that has a bunny tail that wags so hard that his butt wiggles back and forth when he’s excited about something. He’s happy for the most part but just like me seems to be saddened by something missing in his life. He’s gotten a lot bigger in the past several months, most likely because mom and dad have been feeding him rotisserie chicken and cheese (at just the right temperature and shredded to just the right size btw) all the time. We all try to run with him at least once a day, and i’m trying to get my mile time down to under 7. 

A man has dreams to you know? As long as I’m smoking cigarettes (yes I went back to smoking menthol cigarettes) I doubt I’m going to get it down to under 7 without really pushing myself. I really don’t want to put in to much strenuous cardio at the moment since it’s so hot and humid outside. Luckily Max doesn’t really have sweat glands so he doesn’t stink regardless of how long he runs around.

We both enjoy the time together alone.

It gives me time to think, time to remember pain, time to compose myself so that I can spend another day numbing myself and sealing my memories in a compartment. The rest of the time I choose to force myself to appear happy and unaffected, but it’s really hard when everyone around you spent every moment creating physical reminders for every single memory. Max has even had some bad dreams lately where he seems to be crying out or barking at something in his sleep. It’s fairly disturbing to see a dog running on his side while asleep, especially when his claws are up against your back. If only there was something I could do for him. I’ve tried telling him in the past that he wasn’t abandoned, that he was only a casualty of a war between his parents, an innocent bystander hit by shrapnel.

I’m not sure he understands.

As for Miami, they are currently losing to the San Antonio Spurs 3-2, and tonight is game 6, the first of two finals games at home in Miami. I’m not really worried about them tonight since they almost never lose two post season games in a row, That would set up game 7 with the championship on the line, and this is where my nerves start getting to me.

So what’s the problem Miami? 

It’s not like you don’t have the offensive firepower or the current and 4-time MVP on your team, Lebron James. There are good shooters all over the team that can hit 3-pointers (Ray Allen, Mike Miller, LBJ, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, etc.), as well as multiple big time players that can penetrate to the basket or make the mid-range jump shot as well (Chris Anderson, Norris Cole, Mario Chalmers, Allen, LBJ, Wade, Bosh, etc.). So why do you look so confused when it comes times to make decisions in your half court offense, especially when your coming off a win? Did you somehow think San Antonio, with most of the star players having been a part of at least 3 of the past 4 championships, was going to just beat themselves with mistakes and give you a freebie? The saddest thing is that even with Wade’s knee injury, this team is supposed to be dominant enough to handle any championship-level team.

Instead they find themselves on the brink of elimination against a much less dangerous Spurs team, one without Tim Duncan playing at an MVP level, where Giniobli was averaging 7.5 points per game up until game 5, and Tony Parker their star point guard has been hampered by a hamstring injury. Imagine if this was the 2003 or 2005 Spurs team that swept Lebron’s Cavaliers or the younger team that massacred the Nets 4 games to 1.

If this Heat team can’t step up their game, focus and concentration for 2 games in a row, at home no less, what makes you think they could beat them when they were at their best? LeBron’s legacy is on the line tonight and on Thursday. Wade has 2 championships and a Finals MVP already next to his name. Bosh isn’t really expected to carry this team to victory. (not to mention he hasn’t had a 30 point game this entire postseason).If he wins, he’s 2 and 2 in championships and can finally exorcise the demons surrounding his postseason play versus San Antonio. If he loses he’s 1-3 all-time and his reputation will take a huge blow. This team was the favorite to the win the championship at the start of the playoffs, he will possibly never have a better chance to win another one than with this team built to win championships. 

All we can do is watch and pray.

So what else is new? 

Not much has happened at the restaurant other then building up our Arlington location, oh and we’ve started our regular/VIP customer program with GetPerka.com. I’ve come up with several new drinks over the past couple weeks, such as a Passion fruit Basil Mojito, a Sweet & Sour frozen Mango Margarita, and several Fruit-infused cold Sakes. Other then that I’ve just been putting in the hours, counting the time until I can get off and go home so I can drown myself in reading materials or watching countless animes/reading mangas. 

My grandmother is back in the hospital again, on my father’s side of the family. They live all the way across the country in Los Angeles, so for us to take an emergency trip would be super expensive at the last moment. We talked to dad’s siblings and other family members that live over there and thought maybe she would be better or at least up to waiting several more days before my entire immediate family takes a flight (and time off) across the US. It doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen now, she’s really weak and hasn’t been eating very much. As long as she continues down that path, she has only a very small possibility of ever fully recovering, so I think it’s time we made that trip. Wonderful, what else does God have in store for me?

I finally realize something that I had locked away for a long time prior to being in my past relationship. I know now why I had stopped caring, why I had treated my ex’s and girls in general like useless garbage, cheating on them and barely acknowledging their or my own feelings. It’s so much easier to stay out of the fray, to look down on people with a cool sense of superiority than to let them into your life. That way no one can hurt you. 

Nobody can tell you they love you, and that they are the only one meant for you and turn around and hurt you worse then anyone before. Nobody can look you right in the eyes and tell you they miss and care about you while secretly calling the police on you and hoping you would die or go to jail. If you can treat your dog this way, what else are you capable of? If your so worried about taking pictures of everything and loading them up on your social media sites, how can you turn off everything and not even wonder what has happened to them?

I’ve went out with several girls over the past month or so and tried to forget the past but it seems that everywhere I go there’s another picture frame hidden behind a desk, on the top of a banister or tucked in a box of forgotten memories. Whenever I focus on what I’m feeling  at the moment, I realize that I currently feel nothing but regret and pain. Wouldn’t it have been better if I had never come to this realization at all?

I think I would rather have been stabbed or shot like some of my other ex’s have done to me then for this particular outcome to happen.It’s as if all the colors of spring and summer have been bleached from my surroundings. White looks like Grey, Yellow looks like dull Orange, and black looks even darker. My hands waved in front of my face move in slow-motion and without any enthusiasm, almost as if I was walking in a nightmare but can’t wake myself up. I want to say something or do something that will restore me to full health, but I cannot even face my demons without the threat of police intervention. 

Have I ever told you how much I hate the police in my county? They are some of the most corrupt officials I’ve ever met. 

I haven’t even picked up a piece of jewelry or read a book about jewelry since I was forcefully removed from my own home. I’m not even going to go into the reasons why, suffice it to say that lies were spoken and trust was betrayed for this to occur.

I’m sure I will eventually move on and find some sort of minor happiness in my life, but I doubt I’ll ever be the same. It pains me to smile. I will never fully trust anyone ever again until I have dealt with these demons of my past, I might never even love anyone outside of my family. If this type of person could be corrupted by whatever reasons into actually hurting me intentionally, what hope is there for any normal women to be what they say they are.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of faults. I’ve lied (rarely), and been lazy, haven’t taken responsibility or been there when I was supposed too, taken care of everything a man should take care of, and yelled and made a big deal out of things when I should have been there to listen. I’ve hurt people and not been aware of their feelings before, especially those who I claimed to love. But there are certain principles and guidelines that can never be stepped across. Once you’ve done certain things, they cannot be taken back. Words are just words until the police get involved, or until someone snaps and gets physically damaged, and we’re not talking about restraining someone. We’re talking about killing someone with your bare hands, or accidentally shooting them with a gun or stabbing them with a knife. You claim that you’ve been hurt, but how much worse were your failed marriages? 

So which one is it, both cannot be true. Either she lied about her past, and made me spend much of the relationship attempting to repair things she overstated/overreacted to OR it’s true and yet somehow it’s conveniently forgotten all the times I spent planning out dates, buying cards/flowers, cooking her dinner, visiting and being humble and polite to her family, or just flat out spending my waking moments with her. 

What about love? You were barren prior to my touch. It’s just that simple. Nobody loved you or your insecurities, nobody kissed the cut on your lip or the scars on your womb. Nobody appreciated you trying to cook them burnt eggs and spam, or took you out on Valentine’s day. 

“I’ll never forget all the things you’ve done for me. I appreciate everything. I’ll show you I do.”

So where is your memory?

I never thought I’d be so gullible. Me? I was untouchable, infallible, I always had an ace up my sleeve (someone I slept with that I could use as ammo when the inevitable break-up occured). 

Maybe it’s better if I just live in fantasy land, reading and watching anime and living vicariously through the stories of others. Maybe with time I will fade away until I become nothing more than a ghost, feeding off the emotions and memories of others and gaining strength from negative emotions like jealously and hate. 

I’ve done it once, so why can’t it happen again.

 

~Mikey

Wong_83@Hotmail.com

Mikey’s State of the Union Address 5/23/2013

arms in handcuffsThe world as I know it is very different today than it has been in quite a while. Murders and mental illness are way up, the American economy is teetering on the precipice of the void known as “the Greatest Depression the world has ever seen.”

The Howard County police department continues to harass and hound my every move, like feral dogs looking for the scent of blood. Looking for the faintest whiff of my general direction and location, the tiniest scrap of raw meat or even one of my old socks fills them with ecstasy and purpose. I continue to fight the good fight against injustice and a justice system that is primarily interested in increasing state and/or federal revenue regardless of what evils might cross their path.

Never have I seen such an innocuous, seemingly lawful procedure as a peace order, otherwise known as an ex parte or restraining order, be twisted to such nefarious purposes. The original purpose and what supposedly is the main reason these documents are so readily created is to protect innocent female victims from dangerous, violent, abusive men. I cannot even begin to tell you how awful the process has become. Let me try to explain at least partially how this process is begun.

A peace order begins with the supposed victim going to the district commissioner’s office, usually located somewhere near either the local detention center or the district courthouse.

85% of all restraining orders are obtained by a female petitioner, usually against an alleged male attacker, stalker, etc. Less then 10% of all restraining orders are granted to a male victim, even in cases where there is clear evidence the woman has attacked the man, leaving claw marks, scratches, bruises, bleeding wounds and sometimes even gun shot or knife wounds.

It may seem like men are much bigger and stronger than their female counterparts, but this is an illusion. Women are calculating, devious, inventive, manipulative, and more than capable of wielding a 10 oz stainless steel blade. Regardless of all the talk about equality and how men and women are equally capable both mentally and physically, it’s time to face facts:

Nobody is going to take your side if your a man and you and a woman have been fighting, or even arguing.

My lawyer has given me strict orders not to bring up any details of the case, especially not on a public forum like my WordPress blog, Facebook or any other similar social media websites. SO I can’t really tell you everything that has happened.

Suffice it to say that I was unjustly accused of fighting with my significant other. Back to the peace order.

Evidently a man can be separated from his home of over a year, his belongings, clothes, electronics and other possessions based solely on the warped and unreasonable testimony of a hateful lover. I cannot stress to you enough how much that hurt me, way more then even I thought was possible.

When you’ve been in as many high stakes relationships as I have, complete with not so happily ever after-style breakups, you begin to guard your heart more carefully. On this particular occasion, I made a conscious decision to bare my heart, mind and soul to my significant other. I considered a number of avenues, ways to play the game so to speak, and decided that I wouldn’t play one.

I gambled against the odds that this relationship was different than all the other ones I had been in. Nothing in my long tumultuous past prepared me for the horror of having a  knife dipped in liquid nitrogen stab me through the chest, twisted, pulled out, and stabbed through yet again. I can actually feel the frost of the dagger creeping through my veins and arteries, threatening to take my humanity, morality, and soul.

A little melodramatic you might think, but by now you should have at least a semblance of how off-guard I was. No random hook-ups that I could use as ammunition in the war of words. No slutty blond trollops to comfort me in my time of great mental need. Again I had chosen to leave all of that behind, to focus on trying to be a respectable, decent, loving husband/father-type figure for her and her child.

The worst part is that deep down my conscience was telling me that one day it could all disappear, even after hearing time after time direct from her lips that she would never try to hurt me, that she loved and cared way too much to do anything so drastic.Hindsight is perfect, but I can’t honestly say that I saw it coming.

I never expected her to go from loving fiancee one week, to angry, volatile ex-girlfriend the next, to serving me a peace order several days later, to violating me repeatedly for something as trivial as that. She could have shot me in the arm or leg, stabbed me with a sword, spit in my face, put a hex on my family tree or even had a voodoo doll made for her personal perserve pleasure.

Instead she chose to send me to jail. Like some hilarious game in which she convinced an under-educated fat man in a wrinkled button up, thick black-rimmed glasses, and a piano key tie that she was in “imminent danger, and feared for her life.”

And again, no comment from the peanut gallery.

Remember that this is the same relationship where both parties, and one cute as a button little girl, previously lived under the same roof, enjoyed each other’s company and went out at least 3-4 times a week to either one of their parent’s house, the movies, dinner at a restaurant, or something else much more nefarious…

…like using a powerful telescope to see the new star he named after your cherished deceased canine family member.

That sure sounds like a fearful, destructive, oppressive, damaging, stressful, abusive relationship right? I really wish I could talk about the case right here and now, but I’m going to hold off until after all the “”criminal”” charges are taken care of.

So what could the male assailant have done to deserve the incarcerating wrath of one mildly-bitter 34-year old Chinese woman? According to her, he’s a habitual liar, he did drugs on occasion, he yelled and cussed from time to time, even at their daughter or her! He paid less then his share of bills, he spent more time chatting with female customers or friends than listening to her.

He even got really drunk once, at the very beginning of their relationship, and unknowingly blacked-out and evidently kissed one terrible, manipulative female friend. He took the female friend’s side when confronted, and on several occasions he took the side of some other friend who was out to destroy their relationship.

Obviously there are many mistakes that have been made. Far from perfect, we are talking about a guy who didn’t know the difference between romance and pornography up until a couple years ago. If given the chance to repeat his actions, usually he chooses not to change anything since all things can be considered a learning experience. He regrets not doing several things in this instance alone, but also cannot understand how the sum of his actions led to so much fury and hatred.

If he could only ask one question of her, it would be what has happened to the sweet, shy, clueless, loving and caring female he once met on a quiet winter morning, People can changer their personalities, their destiny, or their spirit but love and true care do not just disappear.

So how did things take such a turn for the worse, to create an individual who doesn’t care whether he lives or dies, wishes for him to go to hell, or at least to jail. This is the man who for over a year cooked dinner for you, took you to exciting places, held your hand in public. Who taught you to wear make up, how to dress yourself, how to cover up that tiny scar on your top lip so you would feel better about yourself. Who taught you to love yourself, and the ones around you, because that is all you have in this world.

The atrocities he must have committed for you to forget all the good he did for you. For her to refuse to see any reason, to deny him even communication with the daughter he helped raise for many months, it would take the influence of a powerful friend, or at least one with a glib and snake-like tongue. How evil someone can seem when someone trashes them and poisons your mind against them, which sadly was one of the reasons she said he had humiliated her. As in Shelby, or Jessica, or anyone else.

So on this hot, extremely humid day in May, Thursday morning I believe, many things have happened both good and bad. The Miami Heat came back with 2.2 seconds left on the clock in overtime to knock off the Pacers 103-102. The Baltimore Orioles knocked 3 dongs out of Camden Yards last night to smash the Yankees 6-3, thus winning the series against their 1st place opponents.

Most importantly of course, the Baltimore Ravens had their first OTAs today, Torrey Smith and especially Tandon Doss looked good today, catching several flashy passes and even a TD reception. So all in all, today was a good day for me.

By burying myself in work both at Arlington and at Hanover, and reading and writing every moment I get the chance, I have managed to stave off the darkness, the choking void in my heart, where I once had a small lock and key. I keep telling myself this is a nightmare, not even one of the amusing ones where you know you are still asleep, but one in which your whole world has been turned upside down, and the end isn’t even close to being in sight.

Nothing in the world has ever hurt me more then having a loved one or a close friend attempt to take away my rights and my freedom. Stark was always a good friend, one who I treasured since the first time we met, but that all changed when he chose to back up that mentally-handicapped monstrous female, Janay.

I honestly thought that would be the last time someone close to me would call the cops on me… evidently I was wrong. Now I get to see your brown eyes on the opposite side of the courtroom, glaring up at me with malevolence and hate rather than love and affection.

I cannot begin to fathom a time when I possibly could forget this pain.

~Mikey