Love & War in the Courtroom

broken justice

 

Jesus, I’m 30 now.

I’ve done a ton of bad things in my life. Mostly just for the sake of being rebellious, but according to society and the law bad things none the less. Seeing as how I’m going to be in court again soon enough, I’m not going to make anyone’s job easier by listing those things publicly in my own online journal.

Let’s just say that I wasn’t the best friend, best boyfriend, best son or best anything for that matter.

Throughout all the trials I’ve been through in this relatively short lifespan, there are only a few absolute truths that I can readily agree to if questioned. I have never intentionally hurt my friends and family members, whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally or any other kinda way. I have never sexually harassed anyone, man or woman.

Well I guess that depends on your definition of the term.

I have never raped anyone, or even thought it was funny or cool or something that might be feasible in the future. I have never condoned child molestation, statutory rape or child pornography, even if some of the people I have met in the past have pushed those boundaries to the limit. There are probably several other things I can’t think of at this very moment but I’ll skip the rest of the history lesson to get to the thing that I am probably most proud of:

I have never, ever ever, ever EVER in my life called the police on anyone I love or care about. In fact I haven’t even called the police or even tried to get in trouble anyone up to and including my worst enemies. Regardless of the situation. It just pains me to think of taking someone else’s dignity and freedom by dialing 9-1-1 at a moment’s notice, in the middle of a stressful situation when I lost my temper or something along those lines. Even given time, I have eventually come to the conclusion that very few people actually deserve to be sent to jail or sent to prison.

You do not deserve to do jail time for doing drugs.

I don’t care if you are smoking a joint with your buddies in the mall parking lot or sniffing some powdered cocaine at a house party, it’s a waste of taxpayer money, a waste of time, and ridiculous to put even the most idiotic junkie in the world in prison. There are tons of drugs floating around every single prison in the US, if not in the world, so if they want to get high badly enough they’re going to get high even while locked up. Why should the rest of the population pay for Crackhead Larry to get a GED, 3 square meals and a college education? Not to mention how the prison system turns relatively normal people into hardened criminals. If they didn’t already know how to get away with burglary and drug trafficking, I promise you they will after 2 years in the slammer.

People should not have to be in imminent danger from a guy holding a pistol to the back of their head before they are allowed to kill them or drive them off their property. If your fearful for your life because a stalker keeps harassing you or because they have just told you in person they are going to chop you up into meat buns and serve you at a restaurant, you should be able to defend yourself with deadly force if necessary.

Of course not everything has access to a gun, especially not in Paranoia, USA. It clearly states that every American citizen has the right to bear arms, I don’t think I can say it much better then that. Are there any exceptions to the rule? Absolutely, the mentally insane and those with ties to foreign terror groups should be kept away from owning dangerous tools, whether that’s a katana or a machine gun. Going back to the deadly force argument, how are you supposed to defend yourself against a guy whose twice your size, ready to hold you down against your will with one hand while putting his dick in your ass without some sort of equalizer?  Or if your a guy, how are you going to defend yourself against psychotic exes and the mugger from the public housing unit down the street with just your wits and luck?

I’m just saying.

I guess the reason I’m even thinking about this is because of my upcoming court date. I’ve talked about it several times in the past but again I can’t bore you with all the details until everything has been settled between me and my ex-fiancee. What I can tell you is that I am being accused of crimes and violations that I did not commit based on unreliable testimony without evidence from someone who can benefit from lying.

Nothing is worse then sending someone you love or care about to jail. Even if there was truth behind something as little as grabbing someone by the wrist or standing in front of their car, it still wouldn’t be right to have them arrested. It makes it that much worse when you lie to the police, who are just out there trying to be captain save-a-hoe and cannot see beyond the headline, “officer saves woman from vile attacker.”

Even if it’s complete bullshit.

I can quite literally think of dozens of other ways to get even with your ex, including blowing up their pets, getting them fired from their job, posting naked pictures of them on the internet, etc. you get the idea. I would in reality rather get stabbed or shot by her rather then have to end up facing her from opposite sides of the court room.

I wonder how many other people out there feel the same way.

When the justice system was first created way back when by our founding forefathers, or even by the British, I’m pretty sure they didn’t have in mind what we have in place today. The purpose of the law, the lawyers, judges, police and prisons that are used today, is to take revenge and damnation out of the hands of the uneducated and unreasonably violent, to back up accusations with evidence and by convincing a jury of your peeps beyond a shadow of a doubt that you and only you could have committed the crime.

You might have stumbled across this little post on Google or some other search engine and be slightly confused with what your reading (or maybe you clicked the link on my facebook/twitter page), but just imagine how many people would have it better if this current system didn’t exist.

That obscenely wealthy defendant on TV that you’ve seen or heard talked about at the office, he’s probably completely fine with things as they stand. He can afford to get off on charges of sexual assault, rape, assault, and kidnapping when he drugged and drove a woman home to his mansion. I’m sure he has little to worry about but his reputation, and certainly won’t do more than a few days behind bars while awaiting his bail to be set.

What about the woman who was raped and is now getting threatening phone calls from a prepaid cell phone about how someone is going to slash open her labia if she testifies in court? Wouldn’t it be easier for her, especially if she knows the name and face of her attacker, to just go out and buy a gun and handle it herself? The law says that’s wrong, and  would happily put her in prison for retaliating against her attacker.

How about the colored (as in Black, Asian, Latino, Eskimo, etc.) defendant from the projects who just happens to look like every other member of their race to the white officer making the arrest. If you think they are even trying to be fair 50% of the time, you are sadly mistaken. Even without evidence, if there is nothing to corroborate the officer’s testimony, if it’s just your word against theirs, your almost certainly going to be found guilty by the judge 9 times out of 10.

None of these people other than the extremely rich benefit much from the current justice system. Add in language barriers, red tape and trouble understanding the phrasing of legal terms and there is next to no chance you can defend yourself, something that happens to often without the resources to fund adequate legal representation.

Oh, there is at least one more group of people that are being currently martyred in the war against sexual assault and domestic violence against women. That would be the men who have been thrown out of their houses or arrested at work based completely on a legal system of protective/restraining/peace orders in which there is no basis of forensic evidence, no burden of proof necessary to incarcerate innocent (ok, maybe not innocent but not guilty in this case) men just trying and failing to keep their girlfriends/fiancees/wives happy.

If I knew how this would play out from the very beginning, if I knew I would end up having to sit on opposing sides of a court room from a woman I loved and cared about and had to listen to her perjure herself in an attempt to take away my life and freedom, I would probably never have gotten into a relationship with her.

She knew that I wasn’t perfect when I first met her (other than my looks and charming smile), and knew that i have skeletons in my closet so I can’t understand how she can suddenly hate me so much that she would do something so vulgar and completely incomprehensible, at least to my way of thinking.

I don’t often regret my actions, but rather than deal with this issue, if given the chance to do it over, I probably would look for another solution such as NOT dating her in the first place.Since that isn’t possible in the real world, I can’t begin to tell you how sick I feel that instead of seeing my friend support me from the bleacher seats in the back, now I’m going to have to look at her eyes filled with hatred sitting next to my enemy, the prosecutor.

Relationships will never be calm and tranquil, based on reason and logic. There will always be at least a part of it that calls for irrational emotions, passion and darker emotions like jealously, rage and hatred. It’s up to us to figure out how to deal with situations better, how to talk things out and at least attempt to understand each other without having to resort to slander and using the law for personal gain.

That’s what I think, at least for the moment.

 

Michael,

Wong_83@Hotmail.com

 

Advertisements

Mikey’s State of the Union Address 5/23/2013

arms in handcuffsThe world as I know it is very different today than it has been in quite a while. Murders and mental illness are way up, the American economy is teetering on the precipice of the void known as “the Greatest Depression the world has ever seen.”

The Howard County police department continues to harass and hound my every move, like feral dogs looking for the scent of blood. Looking for the faintest whiff of my general direction and location, the tiniest scrap of raw meat or even one of my old socks fills them with ecstasy and purpose. I continue to fight the good fight against injustice and a justice system that is primarily interested in increasing state and/or federal revenue regardless of what evils might cross their path.

Never have I seen such an innocuous, seemingly lawful procedure as a peace order, otherwise known as an ex parte or restraining order, be twisted to such nefarious purposes. The original purpose and what supposedly is the main reason these documents are so readily created is to protect innocent female victims from dangerous, violent, abusive men. I cannot even begin to tell you how awful the process has become. Let me try to explain at least partially how this process is begun.

A peace order begins with the supposed victim going to the district commissioner’s office, usually located somewhere near either the local detention center or the district courthouse.

85% of all restraining orders are obtained by a female petitioner, usually against an alleged male attacker, stalker, etc. Less then 10% of all restraining orders are granted to a male victim, even in cases where there is clear evidence the woman has attacked the man, leaving claw marks, scratches, bruises, bleeding wounds and sometimes even gun shot or knife wounds.

It may seem like men are much bigger and stronger than their female counterparts, but this is an illusion. Women are calculating, devious, inventive, manipulative, and more than capable of wielding a 10 oz stainless steel blade. Regardless of all the talk about equality and how men and women are equally capable both mentally and physically, it’s time to face facts:

Nobody is going to take your side if your a man and you and a woman have been fighting, or even arguing.

My lawyer has given me strict orders not to bring up any details of the case, especially not on a public forum like my WordPress blog, Facebook or any other similar social media websites. SO I can’t really tell you everything that has happened.

Suffice it to say that I was unjustly accused of fighting with my significant other. Back to the peace order.

Evidently a man can be separated from his home of over a year, his belongings, clothes, electronics and other possessions based solely on the warped and unreasonable testimony of a hateful lover. I cannot stress to you enough how much that hurt me, way more then even I thought was possible.

When you’ve been in as many high stakes relationships as I have, complete with not so happily ever after-style breakups, you begin to guard your heart more carefully. On this particular occasion, I made a conscious decision to bare my heart, mind and soul to my significant other. I considered a number of avenues, ways to play the game so to speak, and decided that I wouldn’t play one.

I gambled against the odds that this relationship was different than all the other ones I had been in. Nothing in my long tumultuous past prepared me for the horror of having a  knife dipped in liquid nitrogen stab me through the chest, twisted, pulled out, and stabbed through yet again. I can actually feel the frost of the dagger creeping through my veins and arteries, threatening to take my humanity, morality, and soul.

A little melodramatic you might think, but by now you should have at least a semblance of how off-guard I was. No random hook-ups that I could use as ammunition in the war of words. No slutty blond trollops to comfort me in my time of great mental need. Again I had chosen to leave all of that behind, to focus on trying to be a respectable, decent, loving husband/father-type figure for her and her child.

The worst part is that deep down my conscience was telling me that one day it could all disappear, even after hearing time after time direct from her lips that she would never try to hurt me, that she loved and cared way too much to do anything so drastic.Hindsight is perfect, but I can’t honestly say that I saw it coming.

I never expected her to go from loving fiancee one week, to angry, volatile ex-girlfriend the next, to serving me a peace order several days later, to violating me repeatedly for something as trivial as that. She could have shot me in the arm or leg, stabbed me with a sword, spit in my face, put a hex on my family tree or even had a voodoo doll made for her personal perserve pleasure.

Instead she chose to send me to jail. Like some hilarious game in which she convinced an under-educated fat man in a wrinkled button up, thick black-rimmed glasses, and a piano key tie that she was in “imminent danger, and feared for her life.”

And again, no comment from the peanut gallery.

Remember that this is the same relationship where both parties, and one cute as a button little girl, previously lived under the same roof, enjoyed each other’s company and went out at least 3-4 times a week to either one of their parent’s house, the movies, dinner at a restaurant, or something else much more nefarious…

…like using a powerful telescope to see the new star he named after your cherished deceased canine family member.

That sure sounds like a fearful, destructive, oppressive, damaging, stressful, abusive relationship right? I really wish I could talk about the case right here and now, but I’m going to hold off until after all the “”criminal”” charges are taken care of.

So what could the male assailant have done to deserve the incarcerating wrath of one mildly-bitter 34-year old Chinese woman? According to her, he’s a habitual liar, he did drugs on occasion, he yelled and cussed from time to time, even at their daughter or her! He paid less then his share of bills, he spent more time chatting with female customers or friends than listening to her.

He even got really drunk once, at the very beginning of their relationship, and unknowingly blacked-out and evidently kissed one terrible, manipulative female friend. He took the female friend’s side when confronted, and on several occasions he took the side of some other friend who was out to destroy their relationship.

Obviously there are many mistakes that have been made. Far from perfect, we are talking about a guy who didn’t know the difference between romance and pornography up until a couple years ago. If given the chance to repeat his actions, usually he chooses not to change anything since all things can be considered a learning experience. He regrets not doing several things in this instance alone, but also cannot understand how the sum of his actions led to so much fury and hatred.

If he could only ask one question of her, it would be what has happened to the sweet, shy, clueless, loving and caring female he once met on a quiet winter morning, People can changer their personalities, their destiny, or their spirit but love and true care do not just disappear.

So how did things take such a turn for the worse, to create an individual who doesn’t care whether he lives or dies, wishes for him to go to hell, or at least to jail. This is the man who for over a year cooked dinner for you, took you to exciting places, held your hand in public. Who taught you to wear make up, how to dress yourself, how to cover up that tiny scar on your top lip so you would feel better about yourself. Who taught you to love yourself, and the ones around you, because that is all you have in this world.

The atrocities he must have committed for you to forget all the good he did for you. For her to refuse to see any reason, to deny him even communication with the daughter he helped raise for many months, it would take the influence of a powerful friend, or at least one with a glib and snake-like tongue. How evil someone can seem when someone trashes them and poisons your mind against them, which sadly was one of the reasons she said he had humiliated her. As in Shelby, or Jessica, or anyone else.

So on this hot, extremely humid day in May, Thursday morning I believe, many things have happened both good and bad. The Miami Heat came back with 2.2 seconds left on the clock in overtime to knock off the Pacers 103-102. The Baltimore Orioles knocked 3 dongs out of Camden Yards last night to smash the Yankees 6-3, thus winning the series against their 1st place opponents.

Most importantly of course, the Baltimore Ravens had their first OTAs today, Torrey Smith and especially Tandon Doss looked good today, catching several flashy passes and even a TD reception. So all in all, today was a good day for me.

By burying myself in work both at Arlington and at Hanover, and reading and writing every moment I get the chance, I have managed to stave off the darkness, the choking void in my heart, where I once had a small lock and key. I keep telling myself this is a nightmare, not even one of the amusing ones where you know you are still asleep, but one in which your whole world has been turned upside down, and the end isn’t even close to being in sight.

Nothing in the world has ever hurt me more then having a loved one or a close friend attempt to take away my rights and my freedom. Stark was always a good friend, one who I treasured since the first time we met, but that all changed when he chose to back up that mentally-handicapped monstrous female, Janay.

I honestly thought that would be the last time someone close to me would call the cops on me… evidently I was wrong. Now I get to see your brown eyes on the opposite side of the courtroom, glaring up at me with malevolence and hate rather than love and affection.

I cannot begin to fathom a time when I possibly could forget this pain.

~Mikey

Me, Myself and Why? Please Understand.

Image

Have you ever done something that made you feel so guilty your sick to your stomach? Because I have, and it’s not the kind of thing that you can make right by telling your parents. I’ve basically ruined a perfectly good relationship by forgetting what was important to me. 

I know I’ve done this dozens of times in the past, and it should be nothing new to me. I should be well aware of my shortcomings by now and realize that eventually I’m going to self destruct. Whether it’s by cheating, or getting trashed and not coming home, arguing, fighting, being selfish or forgetting important anniversaries,

I just seem to figure out a way to turn anyone and everyone who cares about me against me.

If I could turn back the clock and do things over again, I’m usually a big proponent of letting things run their due course. I really try not do anything I really would regret, because that would mean that I’m acknowledging failure. When this happens, something deep down inside gets dragged to the surface over and over again, stuff that I thought I had destroyed, aka: buried under millions of tons of trash in New York City landfill.

But this time is different. Try as I might to ignore everything I’m feeling, a drop has already hit the surface of the water and it’s too late to stop the ripples. Whatever carefully maintained illusion I was under, there is nothing in the world that hurts like a broken heart, not when you know that intrinsically, it’s nobody’s fault but your own.

I could list the mistakes I have made, just over the course of this one relationship, for the next 48 hours and I still could probably think of something to add. I refused to act as an equal partner in paying the bills and expected her to make sure everything turned out alright. I yelled and cussed, treated arguments like warfare, cared more about being right than making her happy and snarled like a wounded animal when treated ‘unfairly.’ I kissed another girl, at the very minimum, took my other friends sides, refused to quit talking to women who were just trying to destroy my happiness and my relationship.

I guess the thing I really wish I could rewind is snapping and cussing at our, her daughter. I know that really hit home, because she is always going to be first priority, regardless of how much she loves me. If I ask myself honestly what caused that pitiful fit, I can only shamefully say that I thought she needed a strong male role-model. 

Since I have never seen or been around one, all I can do is imitate what I think that looks like, even if it feels wrong and is wrong.

If only she could see how I really feel.

She’s not perfect, but she’s perfect in my eyes. She makes mistakes but so does everyone else.   They say hindsight is 20/20, and yes she may be sometimes overly emotional, jealous with self-esteem issues, but she has every right to be.

Every man who has ever been with her has given her reason to doubt herself, including myself.

There are so many things I miss about her that I don’t even know where to begin. Her smell? That smell of fresh laundry (since she always does the laundry) mixed with just a hint of her body, just enough to make my blood stir. Her smile? Her goofy, nerdy, big cat smile that every-so-often would come out just right in pictures. Her laugh would fall in somewhere with that, infectious and able to light up even the worst situations.

I don’t want to get wrapped up in cheese ball poetic feelings, mingled with guilt and a helping of regret. It’s just so hard not to explain when everything is jumbled together with little strings poking out. Just like on your sweater, if you pick at one of the strings you’ll eventually pull it out, but not before two more have surfaced.

Two more that you thought were not interconnected.

I still remember some of the conversations we had, some recently and others way back in the past, where we laughed about how eventually we would grow old. I asked if she’d still like me if I was ugly and fat and old and bald, and she looked at me confused, like what I said had made no sense.

Of course I would still like you. I would still love you.

I think I would still love her too, even if she had liver spots, and one droopy eye, her hair thinned with age and wrinkles hanging off her elbows. It’s amusing to even think about things like that, now that I know that she’s gone. There’s a sense of finality when you look at a closet full of empty hangers, hangers where once she had put all the pretty clothes you bought with her, stuff she had only worn because she wanted to make you happy.

She would have been happy with or without the clothes. She was perfectly content wearing her Kung Fu slippers, a baggy over-sized hoodie, no make up, and no jewelry. 

Maybe her life is better without you. That’s something that will take time to figure out. Maybe it would have been better if you were never involved, never able to hurt her, and never able to touch her heart. Sometimes I wrestle with the idea that the world would be a better place without me, since it seems everything I touch crumbles and turns to ash.

Just like the end of one of your cigarettes.

So what does she want you to do? Maybe work a few more hours, not hide away from the world when you get stressed. Maybe comfort her when she’s stressed, or when she remembers the mistakes you made that involve another girl. Even just not yelling at her when she brings it up, that would be an improvement on what happened in the past. It’s on you if you want to regain her trust, not her.

She can’t help seeing what could or might or did happen when you put it so blatantly in her face.

And above all else, maybe not placing your burdens on her, especially by saying things like this is your fault, or there’s nothing I can do when there’s certainly a million things you can do to make things right. If only she was worth it… which of course she is. Your just too stupid to see any rhyme or reason until things are already out of hand.

Image

Now if only she could see that you understand.

~M