On the topic of Bigfoots…

It’s not that I don’t believe there are mythical creatures. My overactive imagination will never allow me to believe Bigfoots, Elves, Dragons, talking animals, Hobbits and Faeries don’t walk among us, carefully keeping out of sight for fear that we might imprison them, shoot them, or worse. They have every reason to fear us, and I’m sure I won’t see a single one until mankind proves otherwise. Since there’s no possibility to prove that they exist, or vice versa, I don’t see why we ridicule people for studying Cryptozoology. Science has unearthed creatures previously considered extinct many times in just my lifetime.  

That being said, I have a hard time taking the show “Finding Bigfoot” seriously. 2 of them, Matt and Cliff, seem to be classic examples of obsessed Bigfoot researchers. Matt Moneymaker? Is that even a real name? Along with this fat idiot named Bobo, who’s very entertaining nonetheless, and this she-male, Ranae, who my fiancee swears is a man, they travel to different towns, and recently to foreign countries, in search of the elusive Sasquatch.

That’s the basic premise of the TV show. They profess to be experts on where Sasquatches live, how they breed, what they eat, what noises they make, what attracts them, etc. and so forth. What I wanna know is how do they know these things? During commercial breaks, questions about Bigfoots are asked to the viewer, with true or false options or multiple choice answers. HOW DO YOU KNOW? Have you ever seen a Sasquatch run 40 mph? I really doubt it.

The worst part is when they go in the woods. They all have night vision lighting attached to their bodies with a weird harness that points a video camera at their face. Green light diffuses the immediate surroundings, making it look like a show about ghost hunters. They split up into two teams, with two idiots in each group and usually some guest appearance by a guy dressed in camouflage or a fat, bearded man in suspenders with too much time on his hands, and make Bigfoot calls.

What’s a Bigfoot call? Since nobody has actually videotaped or studied a Bigfoot either in a laboratory, zoo or in the wild, they attempt to mimic random sounds taken from all over the country. Hoots, screaming, whistles, babies crying, rave lights, pigs in a makeshift pen, donuts hanging on a tree branch, a frying pan filled with bacon and bacon grease, these are all fair game for Bigfoot researchers. Somehow this is considered accurate, as opposed to someone who has no idea what they’re doing. LOL.

Back to my personal beliefs on the subject. There HAS to be something out there. There is no way thousands of people across the world are all lying and wearing gorilla suits. If even half of all the stories out there are actually hoaxes perpetuated for fame, money or anything else, that still leaves thousands of other sightings out there that have no real answer. Type in the word Bigfoot or Sasquatch into your Google search box, watch some of the videos and examine some of the photographs people have posted just over the past 2 or 3 decades.

Keep in mind that Adobe Photoshop didn’t even exist until the late 1990s, and wasn’t really popular until the past 10 or so years, if that. With the technology that exists today, it wouldn’t be difficult to fake a sighting. That wasn’t always the case. Before the computer age, it was nearly impossible to make a realistic Bigfoot suit allowing freedom of movement and bending in all the right places. If all of this photographic evidence was fabricated, then where and how did they get the gigantic budget and technology to create some of the videos created back in the 60s and 70s?

Smarter minds than myself are stumped by the riddle. I’m sure they’ll figure it out someday soon.

Oh how great it is to have torrents such as Limewire, etc.

11:43PM, currently a lazy day off.

I am currently enjoying watching a series called Monsterquest, originally aired by the History Channel for god only knows what reason.

Either way, I enjoy this show for a number of reasons.

1. This show rules. It’s basically all the same story. Some monsters are reported across the globe, -supposed- experts show up with all this scientific equipment and supposedly find various amounts of questionable evidence. NO monster.

2. Hillbillies, Rednecks and Backwater country folk alike, usually doing their best imitation of a normal, intelligent, non-alcoholic human being testify to how they saw some apparent apparition, typically a sasquatch-like creature, while not being completed shit-face drunk off: a) moonshine, b) rikaloff vodka, c) whatever else they can find that costs under 10 bucks… ie: a 40oz bottle of Hurricane/Wildcat malt liquor.

3. Footprints and hair/feces. This is what they find. Always, always, always. Did I mention feces? It’s deep within the human psyche to laugh whenever feces or something associated with feces is involved. End result?

The feces belongs to a known species, the hair is that of one of the supposed ‘monster’ experts and the footprints can range from being bear tracks, being a hoax or just plain -inconclusive-

Is it just me or should I watch this next episode?

I am shivering with anticipation at what this week’s -ending- will be.