Love & War in the Courtroom

broken justice

 

Jesus, I’m 30 now.

I’ve done a ton of bad things in my life. Mostly just for the sake of being rebellious, but according to society and the law bad things none the less. Seeing as how I’m going to be in court again soon enough, I’m not going to make anyone’s job easier by listing those things publicly in my own online journal.

Let’s just say that I wasn’t the best friend, best boyfriend, best son or best anything for that matter.

Throughout all the trials I’ve been through in this relatively short lifespan, there are only a few absolute truths that I can readily agree to if questioned. I have never intentionally hurt my friends and family members, whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally or any other kinda way. I have never sexually harassed anyone, man or woman.

Well I guess that depends on your definition of the term.

I have never raped anyone, or even thought it was funny or cool or something that might be feasible in the future. I have never condoned child molestation, statutory rape or child pornography, even if some of the people I have met in the past have pushed those boundaries to the limit. There are probably several other things I can’t think of at this very moment but I’ll skip the rest of the history lesson to get to the thing that I am probably most proud of:

I have never, ever ever, ever EVER in my life called the police on anyone I love or care about. In fact I haven’t even called the police or even tried to get in trouble anyone up to and including my worst enemies. Regardless of the situation. It just pains me to think of taking someone else’s dignity and freedom by dialing 9-1-1 at a moment’s notice, in the middle of a stressful situation when I lost my temper or something along those lines. Even given time, I have eventually come to the conclusion that very few people actually deserve to be sent to jail or sent to prison.

You do not deserve to do jail time for doing drugs.

I don’t care if you are smoking a joint with your buddies in the mall parking lot or sniffing some powdered cocaine at a house party, it’s a waste of taxpayer money, a waste of time, and ridiculous to put even the most idiotic junkie in the world in prison. There are tons of drugs floating around every single prison in the US, if not in the world, so if they want to get high badly enough they’re going to get high even while locked up. Why should the rest of the population pay for Crackhead Larry to get a GED, 3 square meals and a college education? Not to mention how the prison system turns relatively normal people into hardened criminals. If they didn’t already know how to get away with burglary and drug trafficking, I promise you they will after 2 years in the slammer.

People should not have to be in imminent danger from a guy holding a pistol to the back of their head before they are allowed to kill them or drive them off their property. If your fearful for your life because a stalker keeps harassing you or because they have just told you in person they are going to chop you up into meat buns and serve you at a restaurant, you should be able to defend yourself with deadly force if necessary.

Of course not everything has access to a gun, especially not in Paranoia, USA. It clearly states that every American citizen has the right to bear arms, I don’t think I can say it much better then that. Are there any exceptions to the rule? Absolutely, the mentally insane and those with ties to foreign terror groups should be kept away from owning dangerous tools, whether that’s a katana or a machine gun. Going back to the deadly force argument, how are you supposed to defend yourself against a guy whose twice your size, ready to hold you down against your will with one hand while putting his dick in your ass without some sort of equalizer?  Or if your a guy, how are you going to defend yourself against psychotic exes and the mugger from the public housing unit down the street with just your wits and luck?

I’m just saying.

I guess the reason I’m even thinking about this is because of my upcoming court date. I’ve talked about it several times in the past but again I can’t bore you with all the details until everything has been settled between me and my ex-fiancee. What I can tell you is that I am being accused of crimes and violations that I did not commit based on unreliable testimony without evidence from someone who can benefit from lying.

Nothing is worse then sending someone you love or care about to jail. Even if there was truth behind something as little as grabbing someone by the wrist or standing in front of their car, it still wouldn’t be right to have them arrested. It makes it that much worse when you lie to the police, who are just out there trying to be captain save-a-hoe and cannot see beyond the headline, “officer saves woman from vile attacker.”

Even if it’s complete bullshit.

I can quite literally think of dozens of other ways to get even with your ex, including blowing up their pets, getting them fired from their job, posting naked pictures of them on the internet, etc. you get the idea. I would in reality rather get stabbed or shot by her rather then have to end up facing her from opposite sides of the court room.

I wonder how many other people out there feel the same way.

When the justice system was first created way back when by our founding forefathers, or even by the British, I’m pretty sure they didn’t have in mind what we have in place today. The purpose of the law, the lawyers, judges, police and prisons that are used today, is to take revenge and damnation out of the hands of the uneducated and unreasonably violent, to back up accusations with evidence and by convincing a jury of your peeps beyond a shadow of a doubt that you and only you could have committed the crime.

You might have stumbled across this little post on Google or some other search engine and be slightly confused with what your reading (or maybe you clicked the link on my facebook/twitter page), but just imagine how many people would have it better if this current system didn’t exist.

That obscenely wealthy defendant on TV that you’ve seen or heard talked about at the office, he’s probably completely fine with things as they stand. He can afford to get off on charges of sexual assault, rape, assault, and kidnapping when he drugged and drove a woman home to his mansion. I’m sure he has little to worry about but his reputation, and certainly won’t do more than a few days behind bars while awaiting his bail to be set.

What about the woman who was raped and is now getting threatening phone calls from a prepaid cell phone about how someone is going to slash open her labia if she testifies in court? Wouldn’t it be easier for her, especially if she knows the name and face of her attacker, to just go out and buy a gun and handle it herself? The law says that’s wrong, and  would happily put her in prison for retaliating against her attacker.

How about the colored (as in Black, Asian, Latino, Eskimo, etc.) defendant from the projects who just happens to look like every other member of their race to the white officer making the arrest. If you think they are even trying to be fair 50% of the time, you are sadly mistaken. Even without evidence, if there is nothing to corroborate the officer’s testimony, if it’s just your word against theirs, your almost certainly going to be found guilty by the judge 9 times out of 10.

None of these people other than the extremely rich benefit much from the current justice system. Add in language barriers, red tape and trouble understanding the phrasing of legal terms and there is next to no chance you can defend yourself, something that happens to often without the resources to fund adequate legal representation.

Oh, there is at least one more group of people that are being currently martyred in the war against sexual assault and domestic violence against women. That would be the men who have been thrown out of their houses or arrested at work based completely on a legal system of protective/restraining/peace orders in which there is no basis of forensic evidence, no burden of proof necessary to incarcerate innocent (ok, maybe not innocent but not guilty in this case) men just trying and failing to keep their girlfriends/fiancees/wives happy.

If I knew how this would play out from the very beginning, if I knew I would end up having to sit on opposing sides of a court room from a woman I loved and cared about and had to listen to her perjure herself in an attempt to take away my life and freedom, I would probably never have gotten into a relationship with her.

She knew that I wasn’t perfect when I first met her (other than my looks and charming smile), and knew that i have skeletons in my closet so I can’t understand how she can suddenly hate me so much that she would do something so vulgar and completely incomprehensible, at least to my way of thinking.

I don’t often regret my actions, but rather than deal with this issue, if given the chance to do it over, I probably would look for another solution such as NOT dating her in the first place.Since that isn’t possible in the real world, I can’t begin to tell you how sick I feel that instead of seeing my friend support me from the bleacher seats in the back, now I’m going to have to look at her eyes filled with hatred sitting next to my enemy, the prosecutor.

Relationships will never be calm and tranquil, based on reason and logic. There will always be at least a part of it that calls for irrational emotions, passion and darker emotions like jealously, rage and hatred. It’s up to us to figure out how to deal with situations better, how to talk things out and at least attempt to understand each other without having to resort to slander and using the law for personal gain.

That’s what I think, at least for the moment.

 

Michael,

Wong_83@Hotmail.com

 

Basketball, Drinks, Love & Hate – Mikey’s Life: June 18th, 2013

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything since my life just hasn’t felt normal in quite a while. I’m still working at the Red Parrot, I’m still watching the Heat in the NBA Finals, I’m still taking care of Maximus Reed Wong, but other then that it seems like my life hasn’t quite moved much lately. 

Almost as if time isn’t passing as it quickly as it should be. 

Let me start off with those subjects I just talked about in further detail before we continue. 

Starting with the dog first, for those of you who are new to my blog, Maximus Reed, aka. Max, Stinky Max, The Rat, is my nearly 1 year old Rat Terrier. He’s the only dog I’ve ever seen that has a bunny tail that wags so hard that his butt wiggles back and forth when he’s excited about something. He’s happy for the most part but just like me seems to be saddened by something missing in his life. He’s gotten a lot bigger in the past several months, most likely because mom and dad have been feeding him rotisserie chicken and cheese (at just the right temperature and shredded to just the right size btw) all the time. We all try to run with him at least once a day, and i’m trying to get my mile time down to under 7. 

A man has dreams to you know? As long as I’m smoking cigarettes (yes I went back to smoking menthol cigarettes) I doubt I’m going to get it down to under 7 without really pushing myself. I really don’t want to put in to much strenuous cardio at the moment since it’s so hot and humid outside. Luckily Max doesn’t really have sweat glands so he doesn’t stink regardless of how long he runs around.

We both enjoy the time together alone.

It gives me time to think, time to remember pain, time to compose myself so that I can spend another day numbing myself and sealing my memories in a compartment. The rest of the time I choose to force myself to appear happy and unaffected, but it’s really hard when everyone around you spent every moment creating physical reminders for every single memory. Max has even had some bad dreams lately where he seems to be crying out or barking at something in his sleep. It’s fairly disturbing to see a dog running on his side while asleep, especially when his claws are up against your back. If only there was something I could do for him. I’ve tried telling him in the past that he wasn’t abandoned, that he was only a casualty of a war between his parents, an innocent bystander hit by shrapnel.

I’m not sure he understands.

As for Miami, they are currently losing to the San Antonio Spurs 3-2, and tonight is game 6, the first of two finals games at home in Miami. I’m not really worried about them tonight since they almost never lose two post season games in a row, That would set up game 7 with the championship on the line, and this is where my nerves start getting to me.

So what’s the problem Miami? 

It’s not like you don’t have the offensive firepower or the current and 4-time MVP on your team, Lebron James. There are good shooters all over the team that can hit 3-pointers (Ray Allen, Mike Miller, LBJ, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, etc.), as well as multiple big time players that can penetrate to the basket or make the mid-range jump shot as well (Chris Anderson, Norris Cole, Mario Chalmers, Allen, LBJ, Wade, Bosh, etc.). So why do you look so confused when it comes times to make decisions in your half court offense, especially when your coming off a win? Did you somehow think San Antonio, with most of the star players having been a part of at least 3 of the past 4 championships, was going to just beat themselves with mistakes and give you a freebie? The saddest thing is that even with Wade’s knee injury, this team is supposed to be dominant enough to handle any championship-level team.

Instead they find themselves on the brink of elimination against a much less dangerous Spurs team, one without Tim Duncan playing at an MVP level, where Giniobli was averaging 7.5 points per game up until game 5, and Tony Parker their star point guard has been hampered by a hamstring injury. Imagine if this was the 2003 or 2005 Spurs team that swept Lebron’s Cavaliers or the younger team that massacred the Nets 4 games to 1.

If this Heat team can’t step up their game, focus and concentration for 2 games in a row, at home no less, what makes you think they could beat them when they were at their best? LeBron’s legacy is on the line tonight and on Thursday. Wade has 2 championships and a Finals MVP already next to his name. Bosh isn’t really expected to carry this team to victory. (not to mention he hasn’t had a 30 point game this entire postseason).If he wins, he’s 2 and 2 in championships and can finally exorcise the demons surrounding his postseason play versus San Antonio. If he loses he’s 1-3 all-time and his reputation will take a huge blow. This team was the favorite to the win the championship at the start of the playoffs, he will possibly never have a better chance to win another one than with this team built to win championships. 

All we can do is watch and pray.

So what else is new? 

Not much has happened at the restaurant other then building up our Arlington location, oh and we’ve started our regular/VIP customer program with GetPerka.com. I’ve come up with several new drinks over the past couple weeks, such as a Passion fruit Basil Mojito, a Sweet & Sour frozen Mango Margarita, and several Fruit-infused cold Sakes. Other then that I’ve just been putting in the hours, counting the time until I can get off and go home so I can drown myself in reading materials or watching countless animes/reading mangas. 

My grandmother is back in the hospital again, on my father’s side of the family. They live all the way across the country in Los Angeles, so for us to take an emergency trip would be super expensive at the last moment. We talked to dad’s siblings and other family members that live over there and thought maybe she would be better or at least up to waiting several more days before my entire immediate family takes a flight (and time off) across the US. It doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen now, she’s really weak and hasn’t been eating very much. As long as she continues down that path, she has only a very small possibility of ever fully recovering, so I think it’s time we made that trip. Wonderful, what else does God have in store for me?

I finally realize something that I had locked away for a long time prior to being in my past relationship. I know now why I had stopped caring, why I had treated my ex’s and girls in general like useless garbage, cheating on them and barely acknowledging their or my own feelings. It’s so much easier to stay out of the fray, to look down on people with a cool sense of superiority than to let them into your life. That way no one can hurt you. 

Nobody can tell you they love you, and that they are the only one meant for you and turn around and hurt you worse then anyone before. Nobody can look you right in the eyes and tell you they miss and care about you while secretly calling the police on you and hoping you would die or go to jail. If you can treat your dog this way, what else are you capable of? If your so worried about taking pictures of everything and loading them up on your social media sites, how can you turn off everything and not even wonder what has happened to them?

I’ve went out with several girls over the past month or so and tried to forget the past but it seems that everywhere I go there’s another picture frame hidden behind a desk, on the top of a banister or tucked in a box of forgotten memories. Whenever I focus on what I’m feeling  at the moment, I realize that I currently feel nothing but regret and pain. Wouldn’t it have been better if I had never come to this realization at all?

I think I would rather have been stabbed or shot like some of my other ex’s have done to me then for this particular outcome to happen.It’s as if all the colors of spring and summer have been bleached from my surroundings. White looks like Grey, Yellow looks like dull Orange, and black looks even darker. My hands waved in front of my face move in slow-motion and without any enthusiasm, almost as if I was walking in a nightmare but can’t wake myself up. I want to say something or do something that will restore me to full health, but I cannot even face my demons without the threat of police intervention. 

Have I ever told you how much I hate the police in my county? They are some of the most corrupt officials I’ve ever met. 

I haven’t even picked up a piece of jewelry or read a book about jewelry since I was forcefully removed from my own home. I’m not even going to go into the reasons why, suffice it to say that lies were spoken and trust was betrayed for this to occur.

I’m sure I will eventually move on and find some sort of minor happiness in my life, but I doubt I’ll ever be the same. It pains me to smile. I will never fully trust anyone ever again until I have dealt with these demons of my past, I might never even love anyone outside of my family. If this type of person could be corrupted by whatever reasons into actually hurting me intentionally, what hope is there for any normal women to be what they say they are.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of faults. I’ve lied (rarely), and been lazy, haven’t taken responsibility or been there when I was supposed too, taken care of everything a man should take care of, and yelled and made a big deal out of things when I should have been there to listen. I’ve hurt people and not been aware of their feelings before, especially those who I claimed to love. But there are certain principles and guidelines that can never be stepped across. Once you’ve done certain things, they cannot be taken back. Words are just words until the police get involved, or until someone snaps and gets physically damaged, and we’re not talking about restraining someone. We’re talking about killing someone with your bare hands, or accidentally shooting them with a gun or stabbing them with a knife. You claim that you’ve been hurt, but how much worse were your failed marriages? 

So which one is it, both cannot be true. Either she lied about her past, and made me spend much of the relationship attempting to repair things she overstated/overreacted to OR it’s true and yet somehow it’s conveniently forgotten all the times I spent planning out dates, buying cards/flowers, cooking her dinner, visiting and being humble and polite to her family, or just flat out spending my waking moments with her. 

What about love? You were barren prior to my touch. It’s just that simple. Nobody loved you or your insecurities, nobody kissed the cut on your lip or the scars on your womb. Nobody appreciated you trying to cook them burnt eggs and spam, or took you out on Valentine’s day. 

“I’ll never forget all the things you’ve done for me. I appreciate everything. I’ll show you I do.”

So where is your memory?

I never thought I’d be so gullible. Me? I was untouchable, infallible, I always had an ace up my sleeve (someone I slept with that I could use as ammo when the inevitable break-up occured). 

Maybe it’s better if I just live in fantasy land, reading and watching anime and living vicariously through the stories of others. Maybe with time I will fade away until I become nothing more than a ghost, feeding off the emotions and memories of others and gaining strength from negative emotions like jealously and hate. 

I’ve done it once, so why can’t it happen again.

 

~Mikey

Wong_83@Hotmail.com