Fried Chicken and Me.

Yangnyeom chicken, Korean style fried chicken

Mmm… Fried Chicken.

I LOVE Fried Chicken. I think most people know this about me. I’ve always loved fried chicken, along with fried fish, most likely from growing up around the beautiful city of Baltimore.

The thing that most people don’t realize is that fried chicken, in all its greasy glory, isn’t the same everywhere you go. It’s not even the same across your state. Southern fried chicken has a thicker crust, uses rendered pork fat/lard, and is sometimes served with gravy. Gravy goes with everything in my opinion. Southwestern chicken or South American chicken often has a hint of spices &  pepper. But my favorite chicken is probably ghetto fried chicken, accompanied by waffles, fried lake trout/whiting/catfish, and either hot sauce or mambo sauce.

So what’s the difference between good chicken and bad chicken. KFC is NOT good fried chicken. Actually it’s not even chicken. It’s some sort of genetic cross between a polar bear and a cloned embryo of a chicken. These mutant monster birds are specifically designed to appeal to the largest possible consumer base, and are therefore completely tasteless, unappetizing and disturbingly disproportionate.

Popeye‘s is better than KFC by far but is still made for the the average consumer. They use the same mutant chickens but at least the chicken is usually fresh and juicy. If you really need a fried chicken fix and there isn’t anything else around, I’m not gonna fault you for picking up a 8 or 12 piece box of Popeye’s.

Good chicken is very hard to come by. Whether it’s fried chicken or chicken wings, there are so many horrible variations out there that most people don’t even know the difference anymore. We’re all guilty of eating chicken wings out of a freezer bag or getting a box of greasy over-sauced wings with our pizza delivery. Fried chicken drummies from 7-11 shouldn’t even be considered a food. Unless you’ve spent the time to search through countless online reviews, delivery sites and restaurants, you’ll probably never stumble across the perfect piece of juicy, crispy, golden fried chicken.

Well not anymore! It’s time for you to taste the difference. For your consideration I’ve chosen a few choice locations, all located within 10 min of Columbia, Maryland. If you live somewhere else… too bad, I can’t help you. The best advice I have for you is to imagine the differences I’m about to list, taking the time to remember what things you like and dislike about each variety of delectable poultry. Then try to find something similar in your area. On to the list!

BonChon Chicken: If you haven’t caught on by now, Korean fried chicken is the new KFC. It’s awesome. I thought it was all a gimmick when I first heard about their chicken wings but was an instant devotee the second I bit into a fresh, juicy, crispy, aromatic, perfectly seasoned chicken leg.  Instead of flash frying the meat to death like most other bars/carry-out restaurants, they slowly and carefully cook their wings at a relatively low temperature in order to get the meat to separate from the skin. This process causes the skin to blend with the batter to create a puffy, crispy, slightly greasy crust that protects the meat inside from drying out. This is just in preparation for final cooking. The wings are then lightly dunked in very hot oil before serving, and quickly basted with a brush in either a sweet soy-garlic sauce or a combination chili oil. Amazing.

Either flavor is explosive, without being TOO greasy or making the skin soggy. The delicate puffy skin even manages to stay crispy after being tossed in the refrigerator a couple of times. That’s the biggest thing isn’t it? Don’t you hate when your leftovers become mushy and tasteless after going into the microwave? I do, and these don’t. BonChon is relatively new to our area, with the only location in a 50 mile radius being in a terrible location in Ellicott City. Stuffed in the corner of a lonely strip mall behind the Crab Shanty, next to Sarafino’s.

Try them and let me know what you think. I would easily rate these as the best chicken wings in the DMV.

Chick n’ Friends: If you’re looking for fine dining, this definitely ISN’T it. Located in the Long Reach Village Center area of Columbia, Maryland, this is by far the worst village center in the area. It looks like a vacant strip mall in the middle of Baltimore, with boarded up windows and closed businesses. Your probably still trying to wrap your mind around it so here’s a little help.

Wilde Lake Village Center has tennis courts, indoor swimming pools, the Melting Pot, an organic grocery store, the Bagel Bin, some ghetto Chinese restaurant (Emperor Tso’s Hunan Warrior???), and Omaha Steaks. King’s Contrivance Village Center has an absolutely delicious family-owned Italian restaurant, Rita’s Ice(!), Harris Teeter‘s and a very classy wine/liquor/cigar shop. Harper’s Choice has a family-owned Mexican restaurant (Zapata’s), Safeway, the Athletic Club gym, Papa John’s, a family-owned Afghan-restaurant (Maiwand Kabob), Bank of America and a locally-owned Korean dry cleaners.

Long Reach has nothing of the sort. The sole saving grace of the entire shopping center is Chick ‘n Friends, a place so ghetto the R in Friends stopped working months ago and they haven’t fixed it. So it’s now called Chick ‘n Fiends. Which I think is a reasonable assumption. Basically, the normal clientage of this restaurant include drug dealers, drug addicts, and South American/Asian immigrants.

But who cares what the outside looks like, that’s only thinking skin deep. The true beauty of this little fried chicken shop is the fact that the chicken is melt in your mouth tender, like Colonel Sanders used to make it. The heart and soul of the restaurant is it’s reasonable prices, hand-cut, fresh-as-hell chicken pieces, delicate, flaky fried fish and homemade sides. They make Belgian waffles too, and there are few things as good as a bite of sweet syrupy waffle, mixed with salty greasy broasted chicken.

Ah, the wonders of broasted chicken. Fresh chicken cooked at just the right constant temperature in a Henny Penny with a pressurized cap is the mountain top of fried chicke.n. The holy grail of Friolated Arts. This is known as broasted chicken. When done right, it will not even resemble those awful chain restaurant concoctions, it will crunch beneath your teeth as you bite through the paper-thin delectable skin. Juice will drip off your chin and mouth, and that’s perfectly ok. The aroma of gently seasoned chicken will flood your nostrils as your teeth melt through the steaming meat.

If it sounds like this is too good to be true, you haven’t even tried their sides. There is such a stark comparison between homemade sides and regular packaged crap that you won’t even know there was such a difference until you bite into a mouthful of porky, salty greens or crunchy coleslaw. They even make handmade sweet potato/pumpkin pies, served stark naked and quivering. They also make fresh southern-style sweet tea in a large Styrofoam cup, or by the gallon.

Trust me, there is nothing better in the area. So either park in the parking lot and order it directly from the counter, or now you can actually order this simple good thing and have it delivered by using Carryoutmenu.com. I don’t usually like using this service since they not only charge you 5 dollars a delivery, they also charge 20% to the restaurant in question. Per order. LivingSocial.com’s fees are even worse to the small business, but there are places like Grubhub.com or Delivery.com that give you more bang for your buck. AND a pick-a-card game every few orders that gives away discounts and FREE FOOD!

By now you’ve realized that I am completely insane for food. I have probably ordered every type of possible food in my life, from Ethiopian to Cambodian and everything in between. Nothing is more satisfying than stuff from my mom’s house(a professional chef), or great fried chicken. If you live in the area and you enjoy finding little gems that can rival fine dining, without the price tag, I’m your guy. You can reach me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/kyarnboy or on Twitter at http://www.Twitter.com/kyarnboy. Feel free to drop me a message anytime.

Onto my final recommendation of the article. Sometimes the places I mentioned will be closed. I’m pretty sure Chick n’ Fiends is closed by 10pm daily, while BonChon stays open til 12am (Until they get their bar license. It’s BYOB Btw.) So what can satisfy that craving for good fried chicken at, let’s say, 3 in the morning?

Royal Farms: Don’t look at me funny. I’m almost positive that if you live within 300 miles of Columbia, there’s gotta be a Royal Farms nearby. Yes, the same place you can buy gas at sometimes, or cigarettes or magazines. Even though there are hundreds of these convenience stores, and even though some convenience store clerk is going to serve you your fried chicken, there’s no denying it. Their chicken is DAMN GOOD.

The key is that they fry their chicken in peanut oil. They have automated Henny Penny-fryers, so even the convenience store clerk can’t fuck up your order.  Don’t even bother wondering if you can get a healthy-version, I promise you there is no such thing. It’s bad for you, but oh so good. For around 12 dollars you can grab an 8 piece chicken with 2 wings, 2 legs, 2 thighs, and you guessed it, 2 breasts.

Did I mention the western fries? These bear no resemblance to those nasty little dry sticks you get from most drive-thrus. They are real potatoes cut into wedges, boiled and finally fried quickly. They use very little batter, so the outside is crispy and aromatic while the inside is hot, starchy and comforting. As long as your calling a Mulligan on your diet for the night, you might as well grab these with a side of gooey cheddar cheese sauce. Eat both the chicken and the western fries while they are still hot, they won’t taste nearly as good after hitting the fridge. Grab a milkshake/smoothie from the Royal Farms-automated milkshake machine and your set. (The ones with fruit flavors are a WHOLE lot healthier than the ones with cookies or smores or candy in them. Just FYI.)

You can’t really beat that in the middle of the night without taking a lot of time to drive to a diner. If you live in my area, you realize there’s only a few choices at that time of night anyways:

Simmies aka: Airiang Hill Cheese Steaks (In the Harper’s Choice area, next to the hospital),

Double-T Diner(15 minutes away in Baltimore County, off Route 40),

Denny’s (In Laurel, off Route 1, or In Arundel Mills, go left off route 1 instead of towards the mall),

or Honey Pig(24/7 Korean BBQ in the Centennial area, also off Route 40).

They all have their merits, especially Simmie’s Ehson’s Special, a 6-inch cheese steak or cheeseburger sub and 5 mambo wings w/ fries. I can’t even begin to tell you all the nights I got drunk as hell after going to the bar/club, and had to make an emergency stop at Simmies for an Ehson’s Special. The mambo sauce is a guarded secret, and good as hell. Simmie stacks paper to the ceiling off those wings. Honey Pig is the best Korean BBQ your going to get at 3am without cooking it yourself. Denny’s is, well, Denny’s, and Double-T has the hugest selection of random food you’ll ever find, and fresh baked goods. All of these are also open 24/7 except Simmies, which I believe closed at 2 or 3am.

For me, however, nothing beats fried chicken, and nothing tops the 3 choices I wrote about above. I’m so sure you will enjoy them that  I would be willing to bet them against fried chicken from any other region of the country. Yes, Bojangles and Church’s Chicken included. There’s only one way you’ll ever know though. Go grab a piece and send me a comment when you do.

~Wong_83@Hotmail.com

Howard County, MD: Animal Police… Above the Law?

I don’t know about you…but personally I have had not a single good dealing with the Howard County animal police.

These completely self-serving bastards are fully content in the knowledge that they can abuse and flaunt there powers-even above the law-to justify their every actions.

I’m here to you today to BEG and PLEAD for some sort of justice; Anything that will bring these mockeries of the american justice-system to light.

Put in a nutshell, I don’t see why my dog and my family have to suffer through the endless hounding and predation these so-called harbringers of “justice” attempt to force upon my household and my beloved puppy.

Yes, I have watched the Animal Cops television-show, even the ones involving cities other than mine, such as Houston, San Francisco, Dallas, Baltimore and even Michigan.

If you have ever seen even one episode of this series, one full episode, you probably came to a similar conclusion to the duties and responsibilites of this “Enforcement-Agency.”

The things I have seen are sometimes so atrocious that certain images have to be blurred or blacked out all together, such as the dead horse(which starved from years of neglect/mal-nutrition) who died while the animal police were standing near it.

The animal was quickly surrounded by the stench of death, the release of it’s suddenly relaxed bowel muscles and a staggering number of horse-flies/green-bottle flies.

I have seen countless other animals who were completely abused, and/or never felt the comfort of human companionship for their entire lives.

Dog-fighting, refusals by the horrid owner(s) to provide even the smallest amount of sympathy and/or medical care for their run-down animals… even to the point where the animals appear to be nothing more than caricatures of their former selves.

In most of these instances, I completely agree and side with the animal police, I mean come-on! These are certainly some of the most drastic cases of animal abuse ever recorded.

Which brings me to shed some light on the majority of supposed ‘Animal-cruelty’.

~

In the past year and a half, the Howard County Animal Cops have shown utter disdain fo the well-being of both the animal-owners and their pets, going so far as to sneak in and check on animals(especially my 2-year old beagle named, “Cha Siu Bao”) over the slightest report that the animal is being abused.

I’m just gonna level with you, my readers and possible supporters who have ties to Howard County, MD or live close enough to care.

My two-year old male beagle lives a very happy life, being fed better than most humans do, has no known ailments -such as: fleas, worms, heart-worms, malnutrition or anything on the sort- and above all else is given weekly loving showers and brushings that IMO make him one of the healthiest Beagle specimens on the face of the planet.

So why is it that the basic job of the Animal Police supposedly is to keep pets from being abused, malnourished and/or abuse from their current owners, yet time and time again, pick on someone such as myself who have a limited income in what I believe is an attempt to seperate my fiance and I from our loved own… Cha Siu is perhaps closer to family than even some of my own flesh and blood.

I’m not that rich. I hold down two jobs and my fiance holds down one full-time job, just to make enough to survive and perhaps add just enough to our savings so that hopefully we will eventually save enough to live at least a comfortable life, years down the road.

In the past year, thanks totally to the unyielding, power-hungry Animal Police, our family has spent well over 10,000 dollars in fines/yard maintenance/labor and income loss due to the time off needed to right our affairs, in terms of appeasing the Animal police.

Not once have I been allowed to go to court to rectify the situation and even if I were allowed to proceed to court in order to deny the allegiations, it would cost me even more to hire a lawyer to condemn these power-hungry mockery of the Justice System.
So basically, the Animal Police stole my beloved Cha Siu Bao the Beagle without a search warrant, grounds for removal or even a legitimate basis for removal.

Their reasoning consisted of this. A single empty lighter-fluid container was found on the entire premises, as well as a small amount of shattered glass, in no way harmful to our beloved animal, was found after extensive searching of the grounds.

Let me remind you that there was absolutely NO search warrant involved, nor were any pictures taken of so-called evidence found on the scene.

I am sick and tired of the Animal Police harassing us at least twice a month, over nothing more than a dubiously placed lighter-fluid container which probably was placed there by someone else.

The minute amount of glass is neither sharp nor in quantites that could in any way possibly harm my most beloved animal.

And here’s the catch…The glass, which neither I nor the previous Animal Police inspector even bothered to document as evidence, is now a significant hazard to the well-being of our healthy-as-an-Ox, beagle puppy.

In this day and age, a HUMAN has the right to a fair trial to contest these allegations. Instead, I or my roomate were cited and fined over 800 dollars, told that we either pay these fines(before court hearings of course) or within 10 days our dog would be put up for adoption.
Is this just? Doesn’t this in every was devalue or basic justice system by giving the Animal Cops immunity from being held responsible for their abusive and harassing actions?!

I want, not just for myself but for all the other owners who have been treated like rubbish, some sort of recourse and justice!!!

If you live in the MD area, please let me know what can be done.

In order to get my dog back, I will have to pay these trumped-up fines without the benefit of consul, or my dog will be given away in adoption way before the court date is set in early July.

I’m BEGGING you guys. Please help me figure out a way to punish these arbitrary dealers of questionable justice… I just don’t seem it’s fair that even with legal consul, I will lose my dog withn the next week…. unless I pay the 800 dollar fine they just decided I needed to pay.
If you have any words of wisdom or advice on what to do next, PLEASE don’t hesitate to respond. I really could use some advice on how to bring these corrupt and self-righteous enforcers of animal law… TO JUSTICE!

Michael,

Wong_83@hotmail.com